Watch out for 'character-killing' traits in a coach

She said: “I went to the session feeling good as I was looking forward to meeting my mentor coach, but when the session was over, I felt so lousy and devastated with whatever little confidence that was left being stolen from me!”

Obviously, a bad experience like this not only does harm in traumatically shaking up the coach-student’s confidence for a long while to come, but will also harm the reputation of the mentor-coach, as it is inevitable that such an experience would be shared with many other people, as well. There goes his future! 

Sometimes coaches forget that their success hinges many more times on their character than on the skills and knowledge they have. These coaches look to the wrong places to accelerate their growth. 

A typical one goes for more and more qualifications, does research for more knowledge, attends networking functions, and so forth. But one area that matters most, but is often neglected, lies in their personal character building. 

Ironically, becoming a coach has brought to them some undesirable traits that only “kill” their coaching career slowly but surely. So, what are the common character killers? There are five that I would like to share. 

One of them is their arrogance. Being a coach seems to give them the wrong impression that they are above other people. They think they have superior skills that can work magic on others. So they talk down on their coachees with a “know-it-all” superiority, make lots of judgment calls and give too much unsolicited advice even before they care to discover what really bothers the other person.

Accompanying this trait is the character killer of adopting a negative outlook of people and their circumstances. Instead of supporting their coachees to see the bright side, they get into the “detective” work of burrowing further into their lives, causing further emotional pain for them.

How can the coachee enjoy a coaching session when it is more of a hell ride for them?

Sometimes coachees wonder whether their coaches genuinely want to help them, or are only after their money. 

This is the third killer – a lack of passion – which is shown in their lackadaisical attitude coupled with no shine on their faces, lifeless voice and lethargic movements, which do not help to lift the spirit of their coachees and move them forward.

Another killer is the lack of a strong mental self to live out their integrity values. They compromise too much. To them, “anything is possible”. 

With this attitude, they compromise far too easily; they do not stand up to rectify what is wrong, but instead support it; and they don’t have a position that clearly exudes what they are. 

The final killer is that they do not take care of their own backyard. Their life is somewhat in a mess.

This is shown in the way they project and carry themselves in their words, appearance and behaviour. Somehow, when you look at them, you will know that their own life is not working well. 

They appear to need more help themselves, so how on earth will people have the trust and confidence that they can help them? 

Hence, it pays to watch out for these character killers more than doing other things – and before they kill off your coaching career. 

 

Corporate Coach Academy is a coaching school in Asia to certify leaders of all backgrounds to become manager-coaches or professional certified coaches in the region. Log in to www.corporate-coachacademy.com or e-mail [email protected] for details.