Thailand faces destruction unless we can defuse 60 million boobs
Who would have thought that women’s breasts were weapons of mass destruction, capable of destroying this fine nation?
I certainly didn’t until I read Thursday’s report in the Thai press (Khaosod) about the activities of moral crusader Songkran Atchariyatsap. He has succeeded in getting two sad little girls, “Meya” and “Kik”, arrested and charged under the hated Computer Crime Act for exposing their bosoms on Facebook.
We learn that Khun Songkran is the “president and only apparent member” of the Network Against Acts that Destroy Kingdom, Religion and Monarchy. It seems that he does much good work, exposing wealthy and sex-crazed monks for example, but I fail to understand how women’s breasts can possibly be a threat under his stated remit.
But just suppose he’s right? At this moment, my wife is hammering on the locked door of my office, attempting to deliver my afternoon cup of tea and asking what’s wrong. She possesses two of these ghastly weapons, and with 30 million women in Thailand, that means that 60 million of the things are out there, all around us, liable to go off at any time.
Here I shall remain barricaded, and I strongly recommend all men to remain vigilant until the media, or the sages of Have Your Say, can verify where the truth lies on this terrifying issue.
Nigel Pike
Phang Nga
