Worrying signs that Horace is still in the dungeon
I’m worried about Have Your Say’s much-loved Horace Beasley.
The last we heard from the Beasleys was two weeks ago when Constance (Mrs) announced she’d locked Horace in the garage for becoming dangerously besotted with “Hot Yoey”, Kim Jong-un’s sister. Last week, the delectable Marion Marechal-Le Pen (Marine Le Pen’s niece) melted hearts at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC 2018) in Washington with a passionate speech about the loss of freedom in her native France. The vision of “Sensuous Marshy” on the podium would normally have stirred Horace into pouring his heart out on this page and inducting her into his pantheon of political goddesses, but ... silence.
Silent too was Dr Frank, who had previously delivered a gushing eulogy to Hot Yoey that bordered on the obscene. Being of the liberal-socialist persuasion, though, he is probably unaware of Sweet Marshy (this major four-day event on the conservative calendar, including signature speeches by Trump, Farage et al, was treated as fake non-news by most of the mainstream media), and in any case, she is probably not Stalinist enough for his taste.
I conclude that poor Horace is still languishing in the garage, devoid of TV, his smartphone batteries dead, with only fading memories of Sweet Yingsy and Hot Yoey to keep him company. I implore Constance (Mrs) to show some compassion and slip a fresh battery beneath the garage door. Horace can catch up with his next goddess-in-waiting on Youtube and the alternative media.
Nigel Pike
Phang Nga
