Piloting Thailand through the five stages of grief
Two weeks on, most Thais are still having difficulty coming to terms with the most profound rupture they have ever experienced in national life. If we gauge our feelings according to the five psychological stages of grief, many of us are still experiencing the first phase – denial.
Public life goes on, but no longer under the benevolent and fatherly gaze most of us have felt all our lives.
Feelings of grief are mixed with confusion. From the highest state official down to the humblest citizen, our social tree has been shaken to its roots. There is fear, too. Some are afraid that the central pillar of the nation is in danger during this sensitive period. In reality, though, it is nothing but their own panicky thoughts that threaten our most revered institution.
Some of us seem to be progressing from shock and denial to the next stage of grief – anger. While many don’t want to accept it, the truth is there are people who actually like to mock the outward display of mourners. Their ridicule does nothing but add fuel to the fire.
It is important to acknowledge how deep the feelings of grief are for some, and sympathise with their loss.
You might not share that depth of feeling, but that doesn’t give you the right to run down those who do. The right to grieve and to sympathy for our loss should be a given. Anyone who instead receives insults will understandably be furious.
Hence, insulting mourners is not only socially unacceptable, since it deepens the social divide, but it is also violates basic humanitarian principles.
On the other hand, those deep in mourning should recognise that not everyone feels or expresses their grief in the same way. Above all, life goes on despite the tragedy.
Staying positive is the best way to express our love for His Majesty. Anger, witch-hunts and pressuring others won’t change anything. Neither will it change the hearts of the dissenters. And limiting their free expression would also be immature and violate their basic rights.
One thing both sides of the ideological spectrum should agree on at this time is the need to show sensitivity and restraint towards each other.
Interestingly, the last two weeks have seen Prime Minister Prayut Chan-o-cha display commendable leadership qualities.
Responding to the collective state of shock, Prayut has swapped harsh directives for words of comfort while at the same time underlining that the “show must go on” in difficult economic times.
The PM has even called for an end to witch-hunts on one side and mockery on the other, encouraging solidarity and harmony instead.
Most importantly, the PM has displayed a reassuring sense of calm.
Leadership has a big role to play in forging the harmony and solidarity that are necessary to guide Thailand out of this impasse.
So far, Prayut has met this challenge. Hopefully, he can maintain his course. After all, he is the one standing at the helm and responsible for steering the country back to normality and the final stage of the grieving process – acceptance.