Turning friction into collaboration in the work place
UNDOUBTEDLY, there are two types of people we have to associate with in the workplace on a daily basis: those whom we feel happy working with, and those we’re not so comfortable with.
Like everyone else, I have the same experience. I have a colleague whom I always enjoy working and supporting, and I’ll name her here as Ms A. We can efficiently and effectively discuss and agree upon our jobs and our next-step actions and get things done together within a very short period of time. This is when collaboration takes place.
On the other hand, I can’t seem to avoid Ms B, whom I always find difficult to work with and even feel uncomfortable, stressed and bored with from time to time. For us to work together, I feel it requires a lot of patience, as we barely listen and try to understand each other. It is obvious there is friction and conflict between us.
Surely, working with these two kinds of people forms differences in terms of relationships – from the ways of working together and the working atmosphere to the results.
Don’t you think you could achieve more if your organisations were filled with the Ms A type of people? The problem is you can’t possibly change others – but we can, instead, break this repetitive pattern and develop more results and better relationships with the difficult group.
The Arbinger Institute introduces the mindset concept as the key to solving this seemingly unbreakable pattern.
In detail, we need to realise that there are two types of mindsets people operate from: Outward and Inward. When we operate from an Outward Mindset, we see people as people; hence we will focus on achieving both my and others’ objectives as their matters are equally important.
The Inward Mindset, however, means my results are focused and matter more than others; hence we see them as objects – not human. Technically, we either see others as vehicles for us to reach the target, as obstacles preventing us from achieving results, or as irrelevancies because they are not worth paying attention to.
In this regard, mindset is something that drives our attitude and behaviour towards others – and mindset can be applied not only to work, but also to life.
In fact, I’d say love doesn’t always guarantee that we will definitely use the Outward Mindset with them as people can easily and unconsciously abuse our initial intention and operate with the Inward Mindset.
For example, take a person who loves his wife and wants to earn as much as possible for the sake of his family, and as a result, he is so focused on his work that he believes his wife should shoulder all hassles in the household – the kids, food, and so on – to free him from any burden at home. In this case, is his wife an object or a person to him?
Moreover, when we have two types of mindset to begin with, whatever mindset we’re operating from tends to invite the same type to interact with it.
As leaders, I’m sure you want your organisations to be surrounded by staff who are happy to work together towards the common goal through collaboration instead of wasting your time fixing the many frictions and conflicts that prevent your organisations from reaching full potential.
As a result, it is mainly your responsibility to show your people how they can turn friction into collaboration by operating from the Outward Mindset – even if you can’t change the way they naturally are.
To do so, you can start today by becoming a role model leader with an Outward Mindset. Start assessing what mindset is currently operating by simply asking if things you want to achieve, or actions you do, are guided by the needs of others or yourself alone.
The truth is, you are the only person who can tell what mindset you are operating from, but others can certainly feel the governing mindset and respond reciprocally. So I’m saying it’s your choice and your prerogative as leaders to turn friction into collaboration and to see higher results rather than greater conflict.
So my question is, are you ready to change your own mindset first and see what it can bring you?
Pacharin Ongarthachat is the principal consultant of APMGroup’s Strategic People and Culture Transformation Business Unit. She can be reached at [email protected] or https://www.facebook.com/apmgroupthai.
