Savouring the rhetoric of Kim Jong-un

Readers with stupendous memories may recall that Saddam used to call his enemies dwarfs, evildoers, Zionist usurpers, and poisonous wasps. He boasted that he would turn Kuwait into a graveyard, called Margaret Thatcher an old hag, spoke of columns of bodies without end, and republished a book written by his uncle entitled “Three Whom God Should Not Have Created: Persians, Jews, and Flies”.
Alas, Saddam and his eloquence are no longer with us. But the acolytes of superheated prose are ecstatic, because there’s a new wordsmith in town, and his name is Kim Jong-un. Recently his state newspaper called Donald Trump a “lunatic old man”. In a masterpiece of fervid invective, it trashed the “war-mongering filthy rhetoric spewing out of his snout like garbage that reeks of gunpowder to ignite war”.
This is splendid stuff. It’s so good that Will Ripley has recited it in its entirety at least three times on CNN, and Chris Cuomo has praised it as “almost Shakespearean”. The phrase “spewing out of his snout” has an alliterative charm that rhetoricians will be sure to note.  I found myself particularly enchanted by the use of the word “snout” to refer to Mr Trump’s oral orifice, and “spewing” to denote its primary activity.  
Unfortunately, nitpickers will always find a nit to pick, and I am an inveterate nitpicker. The passage quoted above (we could call it the Kim Mantra) is strong in eloquence but weak in accuracy. Most of us think of a snout as being a pig’s nose. But my dictionary defines it as “the part of the head of a vertebrate, esp. a mammal, consisting of the nose, jaws, and surrounding region”.  Strictly speaking, it is not this entire structure that spews garbage, but only the mouth.  
Professional rhetoricians might point out that the Kim Mantra goes on just a tad too long; the writer (probably not Mr Kim himself) might have done better to stop after “garbage”.  The subordinate clause “that reeks of gunpowder to ignite war” has a whiff of desperation about it. It sounds strained, as if the writer is trying too hard to achieve an effect, and might easily have been reserved for a later occasion. Besides that, garbage does not reek even slightly of gunpowder. It reeks, if at all, of garbage. Even so, human generosity and common compassion require that we cut the writer a little slack and allow him some poetic licence, especially since his native language is probably not English.
I found myself wondering how I would castigate Mr Trump if I were one of Mr Kim’s writers. I would probably focus on six areas:  his age (he is 71), his appearance (that mane of golden hair, obviously dyed, is a fit subject for mirth), his sexual history and attitudes, and his ego. Those last two topics each rate an entire book the length of an encyclopaedia. Then there is his weakness for fantasy (such as Barack Obama having been born in Kenya and climate change being a hoax) and his somewhat cavalier attitude toward the truth.     
I noticed that Mr Trump’s face bears a remarkable resemblance to the face of a turtle, especially if you’re drunk, nearsighted, or on drugs. Readers might be familiar with the Thai expression tao hua ngu,  “turtle-headed snake”: it denotes a dirty old man who likes young girls. Considering his remark that he wouldn’t mind dating his own daughter, I think we may safely infer that this describes Mr Trump fairly well. Mr Kim’s writers might want to include it in their next verbal fusillade.