Horace Beasley unwise to drop ‘Sweet Yingy’ for ‘Hot Yoey’

What is wrong with Horace Beasley? Perhaps it’s some form of midlife crisis, but the appearance of Kim Yo-jong, or “Hot Yoey” (Mr Beasley’s description, not mine) at the Winter Olympics in South Korea seems to have triggered a massive, and possibly out of control surge in his hormones. However, before he gets too carried away, let me point out that a close-up photograph in the UK media of Kim Jong-un’s younger sister not only reveals her features to be “translucent and porcelain” but also cold, harsh and expressionless. Furthermore, a South Korean professor of political science reckons that her body language reveals that she considers herself to be superior to others. Well, he would say that, I suppose, but it rings true.
What is even more disconcerting is that, consumed by this new passion, Mr Beasley has unceremoniously and abruptly jilted his former paramour, Yingluck Shinawatra, or “Sweet Yingy”. How could he be so callous? Disproving their self-styled status as the “educated elite”, the baying masses and their online chums hurled some appalling personal abuse at Sweet Yingy during her time as prime minister, but she never lost her grace and dignity, and never responded in kind. She’s way superior to Hot Yoey in every respect, and does not deserve such callous treatment by “Hot Horace”.
Finally, a word of caution. I doubt very much that Hot Yoey fancies dirty old farangs, but if she does, I would advise Hot Horace to give her a wide berth, otherwise he might find himself the subject of “extraordinary rendition” to North Korea, and then on the receiving end of an anti-aircraft gun.
Robin Grant