A truth ignored by #MeToo: Ambitious women use their charms
The entire episode concerning the allegations of Dr Christine Ford and the defence of US Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh is unfortunate and reflects badly on everyone.
Dr Ford suffered the memories of an unpleasant incident for 36 years and chose to speak only when her alleged tormentor was scheduled to occupy an exalted and powerful office. Kavanaugh must be grieved that an unproved prank or misdeed in his teenage years is thwarting his life’s pursuit. All very sad indeed.
If the entire episode has been a torment for Ford, it is also traumatic for Kavanaugh to be confronted with such an ignominious charge, 36 years after it supposedly occurred, when he is happily married and has children. Imagine the horror that his family is undergoing.
It is becoming fashionable to pillory men for acts of commission and omission, decades after they have been alleged to have misbehaved with struggling stars or women in various fields. Many of the allegations come without proof: it is one person’s word against another’s. Many of the scandals concern men who have become famous or affluent in later years. The alleged victim then seeks vengeance or closure by spilling the beans of yesteryear. So, while we must condemn any indecent behaviour from men, we should also recognise that many women, too, deliberately deploy their charms and position to gain favour with men.
The fact is that, just as there are men who exploit ambitious women who are trying to get on in life, there are women who exploit their looks and charms to get men to deal them a better hand. The #MeToo movement must take this factor into consideration too.
Men or women who speak about their experiences of the past should also appreciate the impact their conduct has on the lives of others. If you speak about some misdemeanour on the part of another person 20 to 40 years after the incident, the other person is probably married and has grown-up children. What about the trauma for his or her family members? And what about the anguish of your own family members?
If a person has chosen to keep quiet about an incident for decades, is it necessary to go public after decades? In relieving one’s trauma, is it right for a person to put others, including family members of both sides, through the grind of gossip, intrigue and personal anguish?
If I do not speak when I must, then, as in a marriage, I must learn to hold my peace forever.
Rajendra Aneja
