Sunday, October 20, 2019

A rebranding for the Trump Empire

Dec 15. 2016
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Speculation is currently rife as to how US President-elect Donald Trump can avoid charges of conflict of interest, given his widespread real-estate holdings. Particularly of interest are the numerous hotels, resorts, casinos, and other establishments that bear his name. I suggest that he can solve this part of the problem through judicious rebranding.

All he has to do is change the names of the buildings in question.  He can save money on signage if he minimises the number of letters that have to be changed. For instance, the iconic Trump Tower in New York City might be called the Rump Tower, the Dump Tower, or even the Dumb Tower. Of course, critics will complain that such names lack prestige.

The ideal name is the Tramp Tower. Critics will object that this name also lacks prestige. A tramp (also called a hobo, a vagrant or a bum) is a wandering, homeless person who lives by begging or casual labour. Alternately, a tramp may be a woman of loose morals. Not much status there, you’ll say.

But hold! In the New Trump Order, dominated as it is by Wall Street fat cats and billionaire oil executives, Trump needs a sop to toss to the downtrodden masses. The name Tramp will convey an egalitarian flavour to every edifice it graces. The Tramp logo could be the sad, unshaven face of an old comic-strip character named Pete the Tramp. Both the logo and the name will remind citizens that Trump, despite the Olympian heights he has attained, still remains at heart a humble boy from Queens with only a million dollars to his name and a soft spot in his heart for the lowly and oppressed.

So I suggest a systematic rebranding of everything currently bearing the name Trump with the name Tramp: the Tramp Tower, the Tramp Resort, the Tramp Casino. Thai establishments will be quick to embrace the trend. I envision a Tramp Backpacker Crashpad, Laundromat, and Somtam Stall in exotic downtown Bang Lamphu. It is sure to herald a new era.

Ye Olde Pedant

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