Reclaim the qualities of empathy

Q: Some colleagues of mine seem to have a way with their people. Not only the working atmosphere is friendly, warm and highly charged, but their people are probably even prepared to “die” for their leaders. I must admit that I cannot even get half of what they are getting from their people.
 Instead, my people are calculating as they expect that any extra work done for me has to be traded with overtime and other forms of benefits. They are also unappreciative, as nothing pleases them no matter how much I do for them.
There is no sense of attachment to me or the company.
Cold and unsociable, they do not have anything to do with me or the company.
What is missing in my work environment? What are the extras that my colleagues are able to do that I am not doing? What is it that they have that I do not have? What can be done?
Stone Cold

A: The truth of the matter is that there is little left between you and your people. To them there is nothing to live and work for. Indeed, it is a dry “barren land” of work, work and only work with nothing else for them!
You need to realise that such a place breeds negativity such as discontentment, politicking, disloyalty and even sabotage, and of course, work to rule.
Your colleagues have probably invested a lot of time and effort to build this strong relationship with them, who have in turn rewarded them with the power of “persuasion”. With this, they can do almost anything with their people. And their people will always look for ways to please their bosses. But they are not doing this for you. So do you see the difference now?
The Bottom Line: You need to reclaim the qualities of empathy and sincerity.
This empathy is about you, the warmth and sensitivity to feel for your people’s feelings, ideas and circumstances. And this sincerity is about showing them that you really do care for them.
There are so many situations in the work place for you where you can display.
Start by learning to listen with your heart much more so that you can feel their words and body language.
Once you become natural in doing this, things will start working well for you again and you too will gain the personal power of persuasion where people around you will want to do things for you, and not against you.
Powerful Questions: What are you committed to change in your leadership behaviour? What roadblocks will you want to remove so that you exude warmth and care for your people? Who among your colleagues do you want to benchmark your change on? What is some of their behaviour you want to anchor on doing for yourself?

DEALING WITH |PROCRASTINATION
Q: Very often I delay doing my work; regardless of whether it is about starting on a new initiative or completing a task. I will usu
 ally dilly-dally a long while before I complete it.
At the very last minute just before the deadline is due, I will operate in a highly pressured situation, rushing and rushing to get it done by hook or by crook, and this inevitably causes delays in my other tasks.
The cycle repeats itself and this has somehow become almost a permanent way of life for me. Why am I like this? Is it my laziness that makes me like this or something that I am not aware of?
Dilly-Dally
A: You are not alone in this. I know of at least 50 other people who behave like you. From what I know of them it is not laziness because if it was then other areas should suffer the same fate too such as delays in picking up their children, meeting up with important people, getting their housing agreement signed, and so on.
Are you the same like them, that it only happens in some areas of your life?
So what is it?
To me, it boils down to their |self-judgement of themselves as |not being good enough for some |particular things that they are pursuing.
They may be afraid of being criticised by others about the quality of their work.
So delaying the task gives them temporary relief or even waiting for a miracle that may save them the trouble of completing it!
The Bottom Line: Search within yourself to find out what it is you are critical about that makes you feel that you are not good enough. Look at some patterns in your life where such feelings often show up.
You may want to trace back to your early days to find out whether there was a certain person or persons, or a certain bad experience |or event, that made you critical of yourself.
“Nail” down the source. Once you have done it, evaluate this objectively and ask yourself whether it is fair and logical to allow this past or this person to decide your life now and in the future.
Powerful Questions: What are the types of task that you usually try to delay as long as possible?
What is the real reason for these ones? Who is behind this – a person or an event? How do you want to detach yourself from this without losing respect or love for them?

Corporate Coach Academy is |a coaching school in Asia to certify leaders of all backgrounds to become manager-coaches or professionally certified coaches in this region. |Log in: www.corporate-coachacademy.com or email [email protected] for details.