Brave hearts in Trang
The wedding of two men in Trang was good news to start the year, and their displays of love in the television reports were a pleasant surprise.
It’s worth remembering that if two men decide to marry, knowing their bond will not be legally recognised, no one can stop them. But that lack of official endorsement gives their nuptials a poignant Romeo and Juliet feeling. How idealistic they are! How romantic!
Regardless, I think they’re quite brave in breaking through the barrier of social norms that rigidly defines marriage as involving only a man and a woman.
That fixed social meaning made me appreciate the smiles on the two men’s parents’ faces all the more. It was a traditional wedding ceremony that served as a social “announcement”. The community was asked to recognise this new relationship.
If society believes gay couples are committing a sin, parents and relatives are blamed for allowing them to marry, but in this case, the parents were not only smiling but also talking enthusiastically about how happy they were.
Aware that they might sacrifice their social status, they put their sons’ happiness first, truly accepting the relationship, scoffing at the idea that there’s anything wrong about it. To me, those parents have as much courage as their sons.
Smiles also adorned the faces of the 200 or so guests. Many called out funny remarks. The emcee got the newlyweds to kiss.
Even surrounded by social inequality, this wedding made me think that I don’t always need to be so argumentative or critical. It’s perhaps enough just to live and survive! My life might be debilitated by government discrimination, but I must prove that I too am a worthy member of society before seeking change in the law.
Activists often dissatisfy me, but I know that changes to the existing legislation are crucial to me and to a peaceful and fair society. First, we need to make others believe in equality and dignity. If these elements change, the legal structure will change.
That’s why this wedding was so meaningful. It represented a rebellion against the definition of marriage and a condemnation of “heterosexualism”. Everyone involved in that ceremony was contributing to this peaceful protest.
As I said in my article last week, society needs to learn about the choices available, the potential for change. We need to help society by teaching it about diversity and its benefits to all. Do it with brave hearts, like this couple.
