How to manage conflict and fear

SUNDAY, JULY 21, 2013
How to manage conflict and fear

TURNING A FOE TO AN ALLY

I have just “parachuted” into a very senior position in a subsidiary company. What this means is I did not have to go through the mill but just landed in this high position on top of many others. While this is a compliment that I have the trust and confidence of the management, there are a number of down sides to it.
Getting acceptance from the people is one challenge. I cannot prevent them from feeling uneasy or even suspicious about me. Thus, I will need to give them and myself some time to get comfortable with each other. However, my main headache now is trying to solve conflicts in this department of mine. My dilemma is I am afraid that I may do the wrong thing. So I am wondering whether I should leave this out for a while or jump into it?
Parachute Man
 
The first thing to accept is conflict in the workplace is a fact of life. So you are not to be blamed because different people with different goals and needs will normally get into conflict, be it minor or major. However, it still needs to be solved lest it becomes bigger and more difficult to be resolved. While conflict may seem “bad” as it can be damaging, there are good outcomes when it is solved early, such as increased understanding among colleagues, stronger team cohesion and improved self-knowledge, etc.
 The Bottom Line: So, if you were to reframe, you would take this as a good opportunity to show your leadership abilities and qualities at a time when it is needed of you. When settling this, keep these thoughts in mind: Show respect and courtesy to all parties concerned; set clear objectives and outcomes so that real issues can be debated without damaging working relationships; listen well to identify the core issues causing this; and lastly, be open to explore options for a good solution objectively.
Powerful Questions: How can you turn this into an opportunity for you to show your good leadership? What will you do to come up with an amicable solution for both parties? What good learning can you take from here to move forward? How can future occurrences be avoided from your handling of this conflict?
 
MANAGING FEAR|POSITIVELY
I have this nagging fear of doing many things, including communicating with people. Some include talking with my boss on work matters, getting customers to buy, talking to strangers and even swimming in deep water despite being a swimmer for so many years. As a result of this, I become very self-conscious, tense and uncomfortable, which either stops me from indulging in these pursuits or takes away the joy when I am participating in any of these activities. I am not sure whether I am “sick” or suffering from something. Can you help to explain my situation and what can I do to get out of it?
Phobia Maniac
 
The first thing to note is that having fear is a normal thing and is not necessarily a bad thing. When you look at it positively, it is actually good to have fear. Fear teaches us to be careful and not take things and people for granted. Because of this, we learn to become smarter and mindful of people in our lives. So you need to be grateful that you have feelings and emotions compared to some people who are so “stone cold” where they do not think even for more than one second why or how their behaviour is hurting people or doing things without thinking of the consequences.
The Bottom Line: Like I always believe, “too much of anything is not healthy” and this applies to fear as well. I guess that is why you are not comfortable with yourself in many things that you do. The first thing is to “talk” to your fear and ask why you have this fear in a particular area that you are working on. Secondly, trace its source and ask whether it is natural, and even fair for you to have it clinging on to you all these years. Finally, face it, do more of the things you fear and you will soon see it evaporating.
Powerful Questions: What exactly are your fears and in which areas? What does each of these fears reveal about you? How can you make fear your ally rather than your enemy? How can you get even closer to it till you are with it?
 
Note: Corporate Coach Academy is a coaching school in Asia to certify leaders of all backgrounds to become manager-coaches or professional certified coaches in this region. Log in www.corporate-coachacademy.com or email [email protected] for details.