Why straights can't tell the difference

A straight friend of mine commented that Tai was using the “same style” in two films in a row. She was referring to back-to-back LGBT roles, but I though she meant acting style, so I argued that it’s not the same because katoey and dee are totally different.
Once my misunderstanding was corrected, I remembered a straight man I met who knew the difference between a gay man and a katoey but misused the terms to refer to effeminate gay men and katoey who don’t dress womanly. Similarly, there are people who can’t differentiate between dee and lesbians.
The suffix “-emic” in anthropology refers to being within a category, while “-etic” means outside. Any given location and culture has its insiders who know best about the elements of life, including relationships, whereas outsiders arrive bearing ingrained preconceptions.
Heterosexuals have their own fixed roles concerning gender identification. Men and women have different hairstyles, clothing, behaviour and mindsets. From this secure arrangment they derive comfort and stability. The world, however, is a sexually diverse place that can shake heterosexuals’ beliefs.
The reason many straights can’t tell the difference between a gay man and a katoey is that they don’t comprehend this diversity and fluidity. LGBT people know that a man can be gay in the daytime and a katoey at night.
A katoey, while fully aware she’s a katoey, might not like dressing like a woman, so he cuts his hair and wears male clothing – but continues acting effeminately. An effeminate gay man might be the “active” partner in bed, or even a katoey.
A tom might be happy to be passive in bed, or might date other tom. Then there are sex-changed katoey who date women.
Information like this always seems to frighten straight people!
Befuddled, they try to work it out like an equation: “If a katoey was previously a man, then when he dates women, it means he’s gone back to being straight. Unfortunately, he’s already had his penis removed!”
These are the straight people who are permanently “-etic”, who can’t understand and won’t accept other cultural groups the way they are. I can only advise them to see the two movies I mentioned and maybe their horizons will expand a bit. I just hope they don’t think Tai is merely acting!