
I thank Clara Holzer for her thoughtful correction of my letter on the Eleventh Commandment, “Thou shalt use the brain in thy head which the Lord thy God hath given thee.” As she rightly points out, the stern dictates of the brain do indeed require softening by the gentler counsels of the heart.
I do not wish to diminish Ms Holzer’s luminous idealism, but my good friend and fellow Oldey, Ye Olde Scientist, informs me that the heart is merely a muscle. Its function is to pump blood throughout the body. To associate it with love or any other emotion, as romantic fantasists tend to do (especially around Valentine’s Day) is to fall into error.
Sci, as we call him, suggests that the true villains in the human drama are neither the brain nor the heart, but certain wicked glands. These excrete hormones that inspire unhelpful emotions like anger, jealousy and hatred.
Another Oldey, Ye Olde Pedant, advises us to retain the Eleventh Commandment, as written above, but to supplement it with a twelfth, which might go like this: “Thou shalt restrain those of thy glands which lead thee to commit evil, but nurture those that lead to holiness, virtue, and love.”
Ordinarily I would favour this solution. But strict constructionists warn that any attempt to modify existing scripture might be considered blasphemous by certain religious extremists, and might get all three of us venerable Oldeys beheaded – and Ms Holzer, too. Hence, I leave this issue to be resolved by a wise and benevolent Deity at his convenience.
Ye Olde Theologian