TGT Party has the winning recipe for Thai politics – get on board
Since time has been hanging heavily on my hands during my most recent confinement, my beloved wife has graciously permitted me to use my old laptop to promote an idea that I’m sure will bring great benefits to the Thai nation.
That is to use my considerable intellectual skills to name and advise one of the new political parties that have sprung up like toadstools on a dung heap.
Thus far, the names that have been chosen all sound terrible in English. I hope they sound better in Thai. Reform People Party, Great Mass of People Party, Public State Party, Citizen Power Party, Civilised Thailand Party, For Thai Nation Party – all of these names are hopelessly dorky. If you can’t think up a decent name for your party, how can we expect you to do a decent job of running the country?
More recently, we have the New Palang Dharma Party, a revised version of the old Palang Dharma (Power of Righteousness) Party. I have often thought that, if honesty and transparency were to prevail in Thai politics, there ought to be a Palang Ngern (Power of Money) Party.
But I digress. Despite my current confinement, I have managed through devious means to copyright a party name that is sure to be a winner: the Thai Gravy Train Party. I leave it to knowledgeable Thai readers of this column to provide an accurate Thai translation. Its motto: “Get on the Gravy Train.” Its logo: a locomotive pulling freight cars full of gravy that slops over the sides. Its programme: infinite governmental largesse to all who join and support us.
Critics will grumble that this sounds like corruption. But that depends on how you define corruption. I propose a definition that includes this corollary: It can’t be corruption if it benefits Thai people. Not surprisingly, TGT will consist almost entirely of Thai people. I offer a similar rebuttal to any ill-intentioned souls who may accuse TGT of being just another mafia gang: We can’t be a mafia gang if we benefit Thai people.
This name, this logo, this programme, plus my expert advice, will be available to any group of citizens who are willing to pay certain unbelievably tiny commissions. First come, first served. See you on the Thai Gravy Train!
Horace Beasley
Political entrepreneur
