Everyone meets a moment when courage is called for

Many things about Police Lieutenant Natchaichalerm have to do with “what ifs” and prejudice. I can’t say this article is totally free of bias. With a Facebook photo like that, he has to share the blame. There are fixed ideas about police officers. They can be fat. They can be corrupt. They can be trigger-happy. They can arrive late on the crime scene. But they can’t be “a fag”.

It’s easy to tear him to pieces. Decry male chauvinism all you like, but “to serve and protect” is a far cry from a career in the entertainment industry, marketing or public communications. It’s not just about the “look”, which has to be stern and reassuring, but also about skills and lifelong experience. Growing up playing with toy guns will prepare you better for a police job than spending your childhood with dolls.

It’s easy to defend him. You can use your imagination about him, but the truth is that he is a policeman in the deep South. How many of us would want to be based there as an office worker, never mind as a cop? Should Natchaichalerm be judged on that photo, or his sexual orientation, or the fact that he’s wearing a police uniform in the most hostile environment for the Thai authorities?

The world is different on homosexuality than it was decades ago, but even so, we are all still uncomfortable with the subject. There are many masks for bravery, but effeminateness has always struggled to be one of them. If you shriek every time someone yells “BOO!” behind you, how can you patrol dark and dangerous streets? More gays and lesbians are joining nations’ militaries than ever before, which means they must have demonstrated an ability to fire assault rifles, mustn’t they? If Natchaichalerm’s Facebook picture showed up on the desk of an American army recruiter, what would happen?

That’s how we judge people nowadays – way before the moment of truth. Sometimes that attitude leads to tragedies. Type “Bullied gay teens” or “suicide” and you get millions of Google entries. When 17-year-old Carlos Vigil could no longer put up with bullying in school because he was gay, he signed out from this world just a few days ago with the lowest self-esteem. He might actually have intended to make it appear that he was an anti-bullying advocate, so as to make his life really count. But his suicide note read: “I’m blind to see that I, as a human being, suck. I’m an individual who is doing an injustice to the world and it’s time for me to leave. I am a loser, a freak and a fag and in no way is that acceptable for people to deal with.”

Like anyone else, effeminate people can be among your best friends. And if they can be that, they can be anything – your supporter, your saviour, your consoler or your protector. I’m not saying this from a high horse, though. I probably wouldn’t want Natchaichalerm to patrol my soi at 3am, but he could still be a great pal. It’s an issue that possibly has more to do with me than him.

If he was joking, as he has claimed, then the problem is solved. He could be my friend and patrol my soi late at night at the same time. If he was joking, the “real problem” – our lingering prejudice toward homosexuals or, in this case, effeminate homosexuals – can be put on the backburner. But whether he was really kidding or not, I don’t know him to be able to judge him. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? Nobody knows Natchaichalerm that well to pass reliable judgement on his personality or professionalism.  

Bravery wears many masks. Many things can also disguise themselves as courage. And before the moment of truth, the bravest of men can come across as cowards, and vice versa. In other words, heroes may not know who they are – and we can’t know them from Adam – until something bad happens to us on a dark street corner.