Building your personal power

Instead, my fellows are calculating – any extra work done is traded for overtime or other benefits. They are negative as well. Nothing pleases them no matter how much I do for them. They are cold and unsociable; most would rather go home or do their own thing instead of attending social events organised by the company or me. What is missing? What extra qualities do my colleagues have that I don’t? What can be done? The answers have always eluded me. Can you help?
Stone Cold

The truth of the matter is that there is little that exists between you and your people as compared to your other colleagues. For them, there is everything to live and work for, while for you, it is a “barren land” of work, work and more work – nothing else. The hard truth is that in today’s world, such places of work normally breed discontent, politicking, disloyalty and even sabotage. So the “million dollar” question is why can they and you cannot? This is because your colleagues have invested in building a strong relationship with their people, which has rewarded them with the “power of persuasion”. With this, they can do almost anything with their people. And their people are always looking for ways to please their bosses. Do you see the difference now?
The Bottom Line: You are missing empathy and sincerity. Empathy means sharpening your senses to recognise your people’s feelings, ideas and situation. You will then become a warm person. Sincerity is about showing them that you care. There are so many opportunities for you to do this at work, and in reality, all you need to do is listen, not just with your ears, but with your eyes, heart and head. Once they feel this in you, you too will gain the personal power to persuade them to do what you want them to do for you.
Powerful Questions: What are you committed to changing in your leadership behaviour? What roadblocks will you remove to make you a “warm-blooded leader”? Who, among your colleagues, do you want to use as a benchmark for change? What will you want to be reminded of to make great strides in enhancing your leadership effectiveness?

DEALING WITH PROCRASTINATION
Very often, I put off jobs, be it starting a new initiative or completing a task. I usually dilly-dally for a while before completing the job. At the very last minute, just before the deadline is due, I will operate under high pressure, rushing and rushing to get it done by hook or by crook, and this ends up delaying my other tasks. The cycle repeats itself and this has, therefore, become an almost permanent way of life for me. I am not sure whether I am lazy or if it is something I am not aware of. What do you think?
Dilly-Dally

You are not alone in this. I know at least 50 other people who behave like you. On the surface it may appear to be laziness, but deep down inside, it is not. Why? Because I do not think you procrastinate in other aspects of your life, like putting off picking your children up from school, postponing meetings with important people etc. Do you? In the many cases that I have worked on with my clients, I have learned that the key reason for the delay is usually belief that they are not good enough to complete what they have to do. They are afraid of being criticised by others on the quality of their work. So, delaying the task gives them temporary relief or time to wait for a miracle that might save them from the trouble of completing the job.
The Bottom Line: Look inside and find out what it is you are critical about that makes you feel you are not good enough. Look at some patterns in your life where such feelings come to show. Trace your life back to your early days, when a certain person or persons, a certain bad experience or an event made you feel critical of yourself. “Nail down” the source. Once you have done that, ask yourself whether it is fair and logical to allow this past to continue making decisions for you in present times and the future.
Powerful Questions: What kinds of jobs do you usually try to delay as long as possible? What is the real reason? Who is behind this – a person or an event? What will make you detach yourself from this without losing respect or love?

Note: The Corporate Coach Academy in Asia helps leaders from all backgrounds become manager-coaches or professional certified coaches in the region. Log in at www.corporate-coachacademy.com or [email protected] for details.