Avoiding the 'rescue model' and getting away from simmering conflict

Q: I am now grooming my next line of young leaders to take over some key positions in the company soon. As expected, being young, they are not very experienced, which explains why they lack a certain measure of self-confidence. Because of this, they often ask for “favours” to handle tasks in which they have little confidence doing. I have been keeping tabs on this and waiting for them to be fully independent, which is measured by how free I can be without having to baby-sit them. It is frustrating and I am losing patience, for it seems that this day may never come judging from the frequency with which they are coming over for help. Do I stop this or continue? What should I do?

Ma-ma San 

A: This is what I call the “rescue model” of people development as opposed to the “people’s responsibility” model. You may be using the former without consciously knowing it. This “rescue model” not only makes you the permanent leader in their minds, it also deepens their dependency on you for solutions to their issues.  Unless there is a strong resolve to change, you can expect them to take a back seat, with you doing everything from facilitating, training, advising and making decisions for them. So what happens when you eventually leave?  

 

The Bottom Line: Taking the “responsibility” path means you dare to take a back seat and believe that your people can do it. Guide them with clear parameters on what they should do in selected cases. Allow a certain tolerance limit for risk-taking and failures. Show them once or twice, and then firmly tell them when it is time for them to own the goal, the process, solutions and decisions as well. Stay out without giving up. 

 

Powerful Questions: What is the outcome you are getting from the current ways you are managing them? How beneficial is it? What change will produce the desired results? How will this also benefit the other areas of the organisation? 

 

BUILDING A ‘SAFE’ WORKING ENVIRONMENT

 

Q: I cannot confidently say that my new place of work is harmonious even though there are few open quarrels and arguments among the people. Neither can I say that this state of affairs will continue, because something more terrible may be simmering underneath, which may explode at any time. Such worries are causing me to be a little uneasy with the “cordial” atmosphere here. Are my fears founded? 

Uneasy 

 

A: You read it well. Lack of conflict does not necessarily mean a healthy environment. When things appear smooth at the surface, it can mean many things: apathy, lack of commitment, boredom, fear of offending one another, or even the low self-esteem of people who do not want to rock the boat. When open or silent conflict is not attended to quickly, it can lead to (silent) resentment, lack of cooperation, lack of energy, avoidance of issues, indirect attacks (or backbiting) and later open violence, which can have far-reaching consequences. 

 

The Bottom Line: The situation may call for a “change agent” of which you can be the champion. If possible, get a few accomplices who also feel that the current situation needs a change. Meet and discuss with them how to create an open and transparent environment. Look at major areas in the work environment where this can be done, such as: at meetings, office communication, everyday dialogue and project work. Agree on ground rules and expected behaviour with everyone there. Observe and give instant feedback should agreed behaviour not be complied with. To top it all, you need to ensure that you are a role model for what you want to see happening. Continue to do this until you begin to see the right culture taking shape. Encourage everyone who shows signs of making positive changes where people participate in authentic conversations and communications. 

 

Powerful Questions: What is it about the current situation that is making you uneasy? What and where would you like to see changes? What do you want to do as the champion of this cause? How do you want to do it?

 

Corporate Coach Academy is a coaching school in Asia to certify leaders of all backgrounds to become manager-coaches or professional certified coaches in this region. Log in www.corporate-coachacademy.com or e-mail [email protected] for details.