Personality coaching: how to be charismatic

Somehow I know deep inside my subordinates’ hearts that they would not like me to be their superior if they had a choice.
They would rather choose someone who has more ‘excitement and fun’, instead of a boring and serious person like me.
I really want to be what they want me to be, but I always face the frustration of failing to get an inch deeper than where I am currently at. So, you can imagine my state of mind in this place – really lonely at the top! Due to this, this place is cold, dull and boring for all, including me.
How can I ignite them so that this place can be a good place to work?
Lethargic

From what I can gather, you seem to feel that you are neither interesting nor ‘attractive’ to your subordinates. As you have pointed out, such a disposition is often the result of a person who displays less than enthusiastic and optimistic behaviour in almost everything they do. What goes with this is a serious appearance that lacks a smile, and a slow-moving demeanour using more negative than positive words.
As people are more attracted to the happy side of life, they avoid such people for fear that they can bring them down, too. As such, they have few ‘fans’ around them, as they are not ‘attractive’ in their eyes.
The bottom line: Make yourself more ‘attractive’ in the eyes of others. The first thing to do is to wear a good smile always. The second thing is to show that you love your job by the energy you exude. Thirdly, be optimistic by switching your mind to see more positive ways, always! This will see you complimenting more than complaining.
Be more expressive so that when you communicate, you can excite people as they can see how passionate and enthusiastic you are.
Be appreciative and grateful by finding ways to praise them for their success (no matter how small or big).
Be enthusiastic in both good and bad times, so that you turn this into your personal branding where you are known as someone who is always cheerful.
Doing all these things will make you ‘attractive’ to everyone.
Powerful questions: What do your people see in you? What do you want them to see in you? What are the ‘gaps’? How do you want to close them?

Learning coaching
the right way

I am curious to know how a coach student can pick up coaching skills in an ordinary workshop. I have attended quite a number of such workshops where most of the train
 ers share the concept and importance of coaching.
Except for a few exercises here and there, I do not foresee how any type of workshop, called by any name, can be very much different as their sharing does not lead to gaining coaching skills, but only to more knowledge!
Can you enlighten me on how some coaching workshops can be different from others?
Doubtful

These days, many workshops are called ‘coaching’ simply because coaching is becoming very popular, and many want to cash in to make a quick buck.
Whether these trainers are coaches or not, many think that they might just get a few participants who believe that they have the skills and can impart them.
Besides being led by unqualified ‘coaches’, many of the programmes are nothing more than supervisory or management ones, with one or two subjects on coaching.
The moral of this is to not just go beyond finding out, but to go deep inside to know what lies beneath the content that appears in the brochure.
The bottom line: There are a few things to look out for. Firstly, ‘real’ coaching workshops are delivered by coach practitioners, and not by trainers.
They are practising coaches who have real-life (as opposed to theoretical) coaching skills.
One thing for sure is you cannot be a coach by just having the knowledge of coaching, but without the skills. So, coach practitioners tend to work more on skills rather than knowledge transfer.
Secondly, the programme structure should have a high component of ‘coaching clinic’ sessions for participants to try out coaching on a regular basis, and should also be in accordance with the set of coaching competencies that are being taught.
Thirdly, good coaching programmes should have built-in follow-up coaching sessions to ensure sustainability of the skills acquired till they are internalised as second nature.
Powerful questions: What is your plan like to become a coach? What must be in the programme that meets this objective? What do you want to get out of them? What will tell you that you have finally arrived at this destination?
 
Corporate Coach Academy is a coaching school in Asia to certify leaders of all backgrounds to become manager-coaches or professional certified coaches in this region.
Log on to www.corporate-coachacademy.com or e-mail [email protected] for details.