How embracing fear, doubt and regret makes you a better leader

To understand myself better and keep on learning, I have been writing a journal for 16 years. In the journal I describe:
l  What are my top concerns?
l How do I feel about them?
l  What viable options do I have to address my existing challenges?
l What is likely to happen in the future?
I recently reflected on the question of why leaders experience emotional volatility and why, at times, it feels gut-wrenching.
To my surprise, the negative emotions associated with leading that stood out the most were fear, doubt, and regret.

Fear
For leaders, fear manifests itself from multiple sources. It can be the fear of making the wrong decision, the uncertainty of pursuing the right strategy, hiring the wrong person, being judged, losing a main customer or simply failing the organisation one is leading.
Fear is human. Without it, we would be reckless and insensitive.
l The first step to overcoming fear, as with other negative emotions, is to be aware of it.
l The second step is to use the emotional and rational side of our brain to analyse the underlying cause of that fear. Is it really justified?
l The third is to assess whether the rational analysis is aligned or disconnected from our emotional fear. If the rational analysis demonstrates that actual risks are low, use your rational to diminish your perceived fear.
Try to shift your mindset by using logical arguments to tame your unjustified negative emotions. If your analysis reveals stakes are high and you feel it, it may be wise to take the right course of action to mitigate that risk.
The ability to adapt and veer in the right direction is a critical trait of effective leadership, and fear is the best inner compass we have. Wise leaders embrace fear to manage outcomes better.

Doubt
When you doubt, you are not sure what to do or believe. It is a signal that you need to explore more. It is a confirmation of uncertainty that requires you to find ways to minimise it by seeking more input. The input can be through more analysis, research, and talking to experts on the subject matter.
To get value out of the input, the other skill that is required is the ability to listen empathetically to multiple sources and consider them in your final judgement. Perhaps even ask some YPO members, as there are 24,000 members in 130 countries and a host of experts.
Regret
Regret comes from reflection, and reflection induces learning. Regret is what allows you to retrieve lessons, feel them emotionally and embed the learning in your long-term memory. When you find yourself in a similar situation that you regretted, you will feel it and, it is hoped, take a different course of action.
Regret gives you closure on a decision that you have made in the past, knowing it was not the best choice and that you could have acted differently. Without closure, the learning is not visceral enough and is unlikely to become part of your intuition. In line with YPO’s mission, if we are to learn throughout our lifetime, let these emotions guide you rather than cripple you.
Good leaders have the ability to feel, reflect and adjust to keep on learning.
Fred Mouawad is the chapter chairman 2016-17 for YPO Asean United and member for YPO Thailand. The views expressed by Fred are his own.
YPO represents a global community of leaders committed to the shared mission of becoming “better leaders through life-long learning and idea exchange”. For more information, visit www.ypo.org.