The right ways to start the New Year

TO PREPARE for the New Year, here are some suggestions that you, as a pet owner, might consider for New Year’s resolutions:

1. Don’t believe every advertisement you see.

Perhaps you remember the television ad of a few years ago, the one about mouthwash. The scene shows a young man at a party. He suddenly sees a beautiful girl in a crowd. Before he walks over to her, he checks his breath and frowns. Obviously his breath smells bad.

He sees a bowl of water nearby, with a goldfish swimming in it. The young man quickly picks up the bowl, pours some of the water into his mouth, puts the bowl and the startled goldfish down, and swishes the water in his mouth. I don’t remember if he swallows the water.

I like goldfish. They’re intelligent, friendly, interested in the world around them, and very pretty.

They are also the dirtiest fish I know. They pee and poo all over the place. Not even the best air pump in the world can keep that water clean.

I learned a long time ago that water from a goldfish bowl is so polluted that within hours it can infect any open wound on your hand.

As for swallowing the water, perhaps the young man doesn’t care. The pretty girl goes over to him with the mouthwash being advertised. He smiles, swishes a bit in his mouth (I think he swallows it too), and true love blossoms.

He thinks all his problems are now solved. Just wait. The goldfish water he’s swallowed is going to give him stomach cramps he won’t soon forget.

This suggestion extends to ads for inexpensive petfood. Do check the labels for ingredients. If the label says something like “animal parts”, don’t buy it. “Animal parts” can mean anything from discarded innards to chicken feathers – hardly the healthiest food for your pet.

 

2. When putting on or removing jewellery like rings or earrings, don’t stand over a sink. It’s unlikely you’ll catch anything you drop before it disappears down the drain.

Do stand away from the sink. Usually my doggie or one of the cats is near me while I’m fooling with my jewellery, and the falling sparkle catches their attention. I can find any tiny gem because they’re so interested in it.

The next step is really tricky, though. Do catch your pet before she decides that the sparkly thing is good to eat. An earring can be so sharp that it can do a lot of damage to your pet’s insides.

Besides, I once met a little terrier who discovered his owner’s gold necklace on the floor. He managed to chew it into little pieces that slid down his throat very easily. For the next few days, his owner spent most of her time going through his poo looking for all the bits and pieces. That necklace, after all, was worth more than Bt50,000.

 

3. In general, any food or drink you love should not be fed to your pet. Chocolate, grapes, nuts, alcoholic beverages, sugary foods, artificial sweeteners, salty snacks, avocados, fatty foods, garlic and onions – all these good things are dangerous to your cat or dog.

The sad thing is that dogs and cats aren’t born liking these things anyway. By giving your pet just a little bit at first, you’re training his brain to like them, especially sweet foods.

Who would drink goldfish water anyway, except a young man in an ad? And who would forget that they had dropped a Bt50,000 necklace on the floor? And who would think that it would be good to give an animal some red wine?

In the New Year, may I and my mini-zoo wish you health and wealth – and may we all enjoy the gift of common sense.