What they still don't get

When I graduated from Thammasat University in 2004 a lot of my transgender friends decided to not attend the commencement because they’d have to wear the male uniform. But many of my katoey friends cut their hair short and put on the boy’s clothes for one last time. Their “clumsy” mannerisms provoked many jokes over dinner. They just didn’t know how to act “manly”. But the rest of us respected their decision.

And now we have news stories about Denchan, the trans-female graduate who gained permission from Thammasat to dress as a woman at the commencement. She finally won that approval, after several attempts, with the help of a psychiatrist’s report recommending she be allowed to wear the woman’s uniform.

I’m of course glad for her, but I suggest we take a good look at the feedback this story has generated.

Denchan has become an idol among transgender students, who all hope their universities will follow suit when it’s time to graduate. Thammasat’s liberated stance has garnered praise. 

Critics, however, warn that the university’s decision will open the floodgates for more such requests. And several universities have made it clear they won’t allow any such deviation from the rule that grads must dress according to their gender at birth.

I was particularly surprised by the comment that, since a school commencement is a public event, transgender graduates should set aside their personal feelings and dress according to their birth gender. Even more shocking is that some gay men agree with this viewpoint. 

LGBT people have asked Thai society for acceptance, but in this case we cut straight to the heart of the matter: Thais do not comprehend human rights. Obviously some LGBT people don’t get it either.

Laying claim to the gender orientation of your preference is a right. No one should have to seek permission to live (or dress) as such. Instead, heedless of gender and sexuality, officialdom clings to the male-female-only template. It’s tradition, and you don’t mess with tradition.

But you do. You have to mess with tradition when it violates a newly evolved, carefully studied and broadly embraced understanding of human rights. 

Universities accept LGBT students nowadays but they don’t really understand them or their “communities”, so they maintain rules that can’t possibly fit LGBT lives. They remain slaves to heterosexual discourse. 

Denchan’s case reveals that Thai LGBT society has its own rifts in understanding, and fixing them is as big a challenge as getting society at large to accept diversity. 

Respect is the concrete version of understanding. We can laugh among ourselves because we understand what each other is going through, and we still respect each other because we know sometimes you just have to play the game of rules. 

But can the universities and society at large ever understand us enough that they respect our choice to dress as women?