The dangers of staying in the closet

News about a cannibal in Russia's north-western city of Murmansk caught my eye last week. At first it didn't really interest me, but then I read about the killer's reason for choosing a gay man as his victim. He had no hatred for gays, but chose to kill one because he knew gay men often keep their sex lives secret, which makes it harder to find him.The 21-year-old murderer confessed his desire to taste human flesh, and his plan to kill and eat 10 men. He met his victim, a 32-year-old gay man, on a dating website. After arranging a rendezvous, he stabbed him to death then ate him.Gay men in the closet always think that hiding is the best way to stay safe. They can maintain their job position and social status by concealing their sexual preference. And the Internet is a secret space, because they can choose what to say or not to say about themselves, or even create a fantasy. So gay men in the closet can free their private life in the online world and still hold their real social life beneath their straight disguise.But the "safest" place is also the weakest link, as demonstrated by the report from Russia. The closet makes gay people more fragile and easier to hurt. Moreover, the Internet doesn't help them to hide from society's eyes, but instead makes users easier to categorise and target. The online world is actually full of dangers.Let me create a scenario. Celebrated Thai singer Ben Chalatit has just officially come out. Imagine that he's afraid of losing his career and income, and therefore chooses to keep his sexual life in the closet. He decides to grant himself a little happiness occasionally via websites. One day, after a chat with a guy on the Internet, they plan a meeting at a location they keep secret. What would happen if that guy is a killer?The press would rapidly spread the news. And then the public would quickly get to hear of his sexual preference. His "worst nightmare" would come true. He doesn't only lose his job, he also loses his life. And what if the victim were not a public figure? Would the dead body ever be discovered?Is the closet still the safest place for gay men?Coming out is not the choice of every gay man, but I don't agree with gay men leading hole-and-corner lives. You don't need to tell everybody you're gay, but you need courage enough to answer truthfully if you're asked about your sexuality. This is not a matter for yourself only.The closet is harmful place, both physically and mentally. Standing in the spotlight, it is easy to be seen, but when someone hurts you, others who love you will see and offer you their support. That's obviously better than to die with no one knowing except the murderer. More than that, when enough of us stand up for ourselves, we can show society that we are a part of it, and that it cannot ignore us.