What happened to the T-shirts?

For months and years now they have been promising to produce Not The Nation T-shirts, but so far have failed to deliver. My husband and I want to get these T-shirts (one apiece – pink for me, because I am a lady; black for him, because it is the colour of his heart). We feel that they will give us great prestige among the hi-so elite. In fact, Horace wants notthenation to produce polo shirts as well, because those little collars make them more high class. 

We want to complain to notthenation and ask where those damned T-shirts are. Unfortunately it is impossible to contact them, because they insist on remaining anonymous. I realise that you are The Nation, not notthenation, otherwise you would call yourselves Not The Nation, not The Nation. But I feel that the people who run notthenation must read The Nation; otherwise, they would have no idea what they are not. I am writing this letter in the hope that they will read it and get off their duffs, start producing those T-shirts, and let us know where we can buy them. It would also be nice if they could produce polo shirts, baseball caps and even tote bags. 

My feeling is that the people who run notthenation must be disaffected former employees of The Nation who are trying to stir up public animosity against The Nation by withholding the Not The Nation T-shirts, even though you are The Nation and not notthenation, as previously noted. Whatever their motive, I appeal to them to make those T-shirts available as soon as possible. Polo shirts, too. Thank you.

Constance Beasley

Bangkok