Not all of Pattaya is seedy

I feel constrained to object to Jocelyn Gecker’s characteriSation of Pattaya as “seedy”. Parts of Pattaya are seedy, no doubt; parts of almost every city are seedy. But to damn the entire metropolitan area with such a pejorative generalisation is to apply the brush too widely.  Surely it will injure the sensitive feelings of the stolid and God-fearing burghers of Pattaya, who must find it extremely hurtful to have their home sweet home so unjustly maligned when they are struggling to earn an honest living under daunting economic circumstances.  

As a young buck who has justrecently arrived on holiday and is still feeling his way around this wonderful city, I must chide the female interpersonal entrepreneurs who entertained the terrorists for gross dereliction of duty. It is obvious that they failed to perform their allotted tasks with sufficient competence and zeal. For, if they had applied their professional talents more skillfully, any thought of going to Bangkok to make bombs would have flown out of the terrorists’ head straightaway. They would have remained in Pattaya, giddy with intoxication derived from constant gratification of their lower urges.   

The message is clear. As part of their effort to impose sterner anti-terrorist measures, the Thai authorities must embark on a vigorous programme to upgrade the skills and charms of Pattaya’s lovely legions of ladies. This will ensure that what goes to Pattaya stays in Pattaya. It will also encourage me to continue my personal journey of self-discovery.

Hadrian Beasley

Pattaya