17 tips to succeed in Thai politics
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1. Never admit to lying
2. Admit only when making white lies
3. Must never apologise to the public
4. If caught with a pile of cash at home, say “I had a second job in construction design”
5. Take the prison drug gang’s bribery if you value your life
6. Accidentally shoot your secretary only when you have parliamentary immunity
7. With a reshuffle looming, fly to Dubai or the US for help
8. Ban your opponents from politics for five years
9. If outraged by an outcome, intimidate the House Speaker
10.Watch erotic photos on a smart-phone when bored in Parliament
11.Get intoxicated during a Parliamentary debate
12. Visit a 5-star hotel during Parliamentary debate
13. When unsure, set up a wasteful committee to oversee a problem
14. If bomb detectors purchased are ineffective, blame the manufacturer and seller
15. Keep smiling and look pretty or handsome
16. Keep a cordial relationship with the military
17. If you make a mistake, don’t panic. The public will soon forget.
(Try guessing who the individuals or groups above are.)
Edward Kitlertsirivatana
Bangkok
