Put the parks in the malls

I recently noticed that one or more parks could easily fit within the vaulted vastness of the giant Mega Bangna mahasuperhypermegamall. Every city needs at least one park, and Mega Bangna is a small city. It even has its own transportation system: modified golf carts transport shoppers from one enormous area to another. Its height would easily permit trees to be planted within a central area, lined by shops on every floor. “Shop ’n’ stroll” could be the defining slogan of the “park in the mall” concept.

Note, please, that the trees would provide oxygen for breathless shoppers. There would be no need to import oxygen from outside the mallosphere.  Oxygen-independent malls would leave more oxygen for the wretched population outside the malls to breathe. (These unfortunate outcasts will inevitably be known as “mall exiles” or “mall outies”.) 

To enhance the natural ambience, shopper-friendly fauna such as birds, squirrels and monkeys could be allowed to roam free in the park, with perhaps a tiger or two to provide a few thrills.  Shoppers would have to be alert to avoid falling bird-droppings, which might soil their persons and their purchases. This would sharpen their instincts and hone their reflexes, grown sluggish from too much civilised living. Grabby squirrels and monkeys, together with the occasional pouncing tiger, would convey the same benefit and provide needed exercise for flabby Bangkokians.

I commend the idea of parks in the malls to the attention of mall developers and city planners everywhere.

Fardley Nerdwell

Bangkok