Ronaldo fined for hiding balls in his shorts

Some might thing that modelling samples from his own underwear brand, CR 7, is a little too forward, but he designed them himself and he’s proud of his stuff, so to speak.
Having previously modelled Armani jeans, Ronaldo has proved himself to be a sales catalyst. Off comes the shirt like he’s just scored the winning goal and you immediately see that his six-pack isn’t intended to hide beneath a Real Madrid or Portugal jersey. In his undies, the abs – and everything else – are on display, and clearly Ronaldo is in the same bulge league as David Beckham in his H&M briefs and former Sweden and Arsenal player Fredrik Ljungberg in his tight little CKs.
Ronaldo’s fans and friends alike are all too aware that he’s what they call a metrosexual. “Fashion and design are two passions of mine and I’ve wanted to launch my own brand for a long time,” he told “undercover” reporters at the literal CR 7 unveiling in Madrid.
There was Ronaldo (fully dressed) posed between his own legs on a 19-metre-tall poster of him (undressed) draped down the side of a Madrid landmark. Apparently he’d sat at the sewing machine and pored over colour charts alongside Richard Chai, who has collaborated with Marc Jacobs and Donna Karen. Ronaldo especially loved the fittings. Huh.
Everyone’s been studying the photos from his modelling session with a magnifying glass and reporting their research findings on the social networks. But British football fans, who worship Beckham as God, naturally dismiss Ronaldo as a false and misshapen prophet.
“His thick neck is weird,” says andreas2010 in Hull, England. “No thanks. Give me Becks anytime.”
“He looks like a wax creature from Madame Tussauds!” Londoner Evka has decided.
“His skin is as smooth as my new grandson’s, and he gets his eyebrows shaped,” agrees KitKat in Edinburgh. “Ronaldo’s looking like a big girl’s blouse. Despite the tattoos, I’m opting for Becks!”
Americans have tended to be uncharacteristically more tolerant for some reason.
“Hey, I’m a woman who doesn’t like wasting time on negativity. I got it in me to appreciate both of these good-looking men,” chirps Lee05. “One’s a little bit younger, one’s a little bit older. Different flavor of spice doesn’t mean they are not equally nice!”
We’re not censoring out any comments on the bulge here, comparative or otherwise. The fans online just seem to be exercising admirable restraint, unlike their football heroes.

Stephff all paid up

The Nation has invested all of its money in a TV licence and couldn’t afford to pay editorial cartoonist Stephff this week. This despite his recent string of highly praised direct hits on political targets and a letter to the editor from New Zealand that called him the best in the world.
“Well, how about a free ad for my gallery, then?” Stephff said. So here it is.
Stephff's Gallery of Tribal Art at Supreme Ville, 38/56 Yenakat Road off Nang Linchi Road, is having a “super-sale” of antiques and primitive art tomorrow from 10am to 4pm, at prices ranging from Bt1,000 to Bt9,900.
Catch the details at www.Facebook.com/stephff.tribalart.