Why do you live here and complain so much?

Dear Mrs Beasley, on behalf of the Kingdom, I’d like to apologise for our inability to provide you with accurate flood information. Please understand that we are a poor nation and that our science and technology certainly can’t match that of your home country. Nonetheless, there is no reason for you to deride the place you adopted as your second home.  

I can understand why Cambodians, Burmese, Laos, want to live in Thailand, but I don’t see why you and Mr Beasley want to be here. I mean, your home country must have excellent living conditions, clean air, high safety standards and advanced technology that lets you know when your home is going to be flooded. Instead, you choose Thailand, a third world country, plagued with corruption, illegal drugs, floods, noise pollution, bad transportation, stray dogs, poor air quality, prostitutes, ladyboys. Why?

I would give my arms and legs for the privilege to live in a developed country. Oh, I also need a maid if I move overseas. Do you think I can hire a maid in a developed country to work 16 hours a day, seven days a week, for Bt5,000 a month?   

Please give my kind regards to Mr Beasley and inform him that too many beers in the morning may cause impotence.

Meechai Burapa  

Chiang Mai