You can't re-brand an old duffer's drink

As a long-time Mekhong fan, I was ambivalent to learn about the comeback of that illustrious brew. Obviously I’m glad it’s back. My mates and I, ardent tipplers all, could never figure out why they stopped producing it. They used to call it a whisky. Drunk with ice, soda and a squirt of lime, a formula popularised by the late, revered Roy Hudson of Chiang Mai, it was an ideal drink for everybody, and was especially popular with average working-class Thai men and old foreign codgers like my mates and I.

But there’s a downside to the new Mekhong. They’re no longer calling it a whisky, but a rum-based spirit. What the hell does that mean? If it’s rum, call it rum. Then, according to a report in the Other Newspaper, this smart young marketing director is targeting “sophisticated and well-travelled consumers”. He wants Mekhong to be “international and synonymous with glamour and fun”. The Nation says it will court trendies “between 25 and 35 who are in the middle and higher classes and have modern lifestyles”. 

This is in line with current marketing trends, which always target the young, the rich and the flashy – the lemmings who always flock to the latest fad and are technically known as the “airhead class”. 

What about the traditional clientele of the old Mekhong – the average Thai working stiffs and the old foreign duffers? I guess we can all just go drink kerosene.

They also have a new motto that is not exactly going to put Shakespeare out of business: “The spirit of Thailand”. Is that original or what? Why not tell it like it is, with a motto that tells the world why we all loved the old Mekhong? “Gets you drunker faster.” 

I bet they will also jack up the price. Just skip the hype, Mekhong people, and give us back the old Mekhong at the old price. You can bring back the calendars, too.

Horace Beasley

Bangkok