Unexpected confession

When I was a child I never felt sexually aroused when watching men wrestling, and I never thought two men touching or even embracing was gay. The sense of arousal only came later. But what causes it?
    In some situations – like watching Pichet Klunchun dance – I shouldn’t feel aroused, but I do.
    In case you don’t know him, Pichet is a choreographer who blends contemporary movement with Thai classical dance. He and his company often perform overseas and regularly earn distinguished awards.
    I’ve seen “Black and White” and, just recently, “Ganesh”. Neither production has anything to do with sex or homosexuality. Both are inspired by the Ramakien, with a segment of “Black and White” involving a battle between monkeys and demons depicted on a wall at Wat Pho. “Ganesh” recalls the day Lord Ganesha lost a tusk.
    I was left wondering why I felt aroused. I decided that, along with the dance techniques, the costumes might be the key. In “Black and White” the muscular dancers wear only tight shorts. In “Ganesh” they wear clinging bodysuits, like cyclists.
    The combination of these outfits and the men touching while dancing (“contact”, to use the technical term) stirred my feelings. But I’ve seen the same movements and near nakedness in other dance productions, with no effect. What else might it be?
    Perhaps it’s the sound. The male dancers’ gasping made me think of other activities that leave men panting, specifically sex. When there are only men onstage, I think of gay men. It doesn’t matter if they really are gay or not – that’s what seeing nothing but men in revealing costumes makes me think.
    In the end I decided that my personal gay experience forms a link with what’s happening onstage. The bodies, the touching and the gasping rewind my memory tapes. I could see the body, feel the skin and hear the gasping for breath. How could I not think of gay men when all three senses combine like this?
    The Pichet Klunchun Dance Company is artful and entertaining, packed with precision and talent. I’m sorry if I can’t escape gay experience!