Seeing, Hearing, Caring, Loving
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Thailand's most updated English news website, newspaper english, breaking news : The Nation
St Valentine’s Day has come and gone again amid more muttering from my friends who are still single. Most of them are good-looking but just can’t find a decent mate. Cupid comes to call and ignores them. It doesn’t help their mood to see chubby, darker-skinned acquaintances deep in loving relationships.
As my handsome gay pals scowl over their empty schedules, another gay friend – generally regarded as a bit of a “freak” because he’s fat, dark and over-effeminate – was off on a romantic date.
But he’s humorous and friendly and kind to everyone. Other guys often seek his advice with problems. And these are the keys to securing a deep relationship – many lovers are happier with him than they would be with some handsome guy because they can laugh, cry and say and do anything they want.
It’s all pretty funny. Handsome men work hard at being perfect and still end up single, while the “ugly” ones can forge a loving relationship in the course of one conversation.
It occurs to me that, basically, we just need to be good conversationalists – good talkers and listeners. A stranger’s outer appearance is merely the first thing to strike you, but that’s not going to fulfil your deeper needs. Humans are social animals. We like to talk and we need someone to listen to us and say something nice in return. Living with a man you can only “look at” amounts to nothing.
If my handsome friends and other gays want a serious relationship, first they have to change their attitude. Good looks can’t always touch the heart, but meaningful words can. If guys let the fear of being ugly overwhelm their thinking, they’ll lose everything, because they’ll be so focused on staying good-looking that they end up incapable of seeing or hearing others.
Relationships comprise two or more people. How can it be a relationship if we don’t hear the voices of other people?
