Mr Furnish or Mrs John?

It was nice to read about the marriage of Sir Elton John to his long-time sidekick, David Furnish. (I prefer the term “sidekick” to the bloodless word “partner,” because the latter makes the relationship sound like a business arrangement.) Congratulations to the happy couple. My husband, Horace Beasley, while himself robustly heterosexual, takes an interest in such matters, which he assures me is purely academic. But he is too shy to ask a delicate question, so he has bravely passed it on to me. Which one of these gentlemen is the gay king and which is the gay queen? 

Horace is betting that Sir Elton is the gay king, because he is rich and presumably pays all the bills. That is traditionally the role of the male. Also, his title is Sir Elton. If he were the gay queen, that would have to be changed to Dame Elton.

Some readers may question the propriety of asking such an intimate and invasive question, but Horace maintains that we need to know. Otherwise, we might mistakenly address Mr Furnish as Mr Furnish, whereas Mrs John would be more appropriate. There is also the question of whether Sir Elton John should properly be called Dame Elton Furnish. I hope one of your readers will kindly answer this one. 

Constance Beasley