China: the futility of writing your name on water

The editorial, one letter and at least one minor article also dealt with that prestigious body of water.
If I were Chinese I would regard the universal acceptance of its name as incontrovertible proof that the South China Sea and all its contents belong to China. I would think that China is universally acknowledged to be the sole owner of every drop of water in it, plus all its sea life, all its underwater topography and every rock, island, atoll, shoal, reef and sandbar that dares to peek above its surface. With my chauvinism thus inflamed, I would wonder why China doesn’t levy a toll on every vessel that dares to breach its sacred waters and tax all the swimmers, divers and even the little fishies and octopussies that frolic in its depths.
To prevent such a horror, I suggest that the world rename the South China Sea and every other body of water named after an adjacent nation. If you look at the world map, there is just one big interconnected ocean. You could call it the Big Wet. It is humans with their divisive tendencies who have pandered to local chauvinism and created a basis for infinite conflict by inventing such parochial names as the Indian Ocean, the Arabian Sea, the Sea of Japan, the Persian Gulf, etc.
The map shows the South China Sea to be part of the Northwest Pacific Ocean. I leave it to mightier brains than mine to devise a nation-neutral name for it, as well as for all the other oceans, seas, bays, gulfs, channels, coves and estuaries whose current names might provoke conflict.
In the interests of world peace,
Barnacle Billy