Straight answers for the dog-haters out there 

My goodness. I underestimated the depth, range and intensity of the dog-rage blazing in the mind of “Suffered dogs far too long”. I urge him to take a Valium before he pops a brain capillary and his eloquence is lost to us forever.
To answer all his questions concisely, I do have a dog, he does not yelp mindlessly, and when I take him for a walk, I pick up his poop with old copies of The Nation. (Sorry about that, Nation. Out of respect for my fellow scribblers, I never use the page that has the Letters column.) The ladies in the neighbourhood love him, they often stop to pet him, and so do the kids. I append a photo so that readers, at the editor’s discretion, may savour his loveability.
I can only conclude that Suff lives in a bad neighbourhood, with legions of untrained, yelping dogs and uncaring neighbours who fail to train them. I urge him to move if at all feasible. 
In the meantime, take that Valium, Suff.
Ye Olde Dog Lover