Speaking of loony revelations
Re: “Moon isn’t made of green cheese – but it could be an artificial satellite”, Have Your Say, August 24.
Thomas Turk is obviously pulling our collective leg, but I found his fantasy about aliens designing the moon enormously entertaining. This must be an example of what Donald Trump calls Fake News.
Here’s another. Conspiracy theorists are far too shy and modest in their claims. The group to watch is a secretive, elite cabal of super-smart people called the Cognoscenti. You’ll get an idea of how smart they are when you know that Stephen Hawking and Elon Musk are considered to be among their dumbest members. This exclusive club of geniuses has a theory far bolder than Thomas Turk’s timid speculations.
Aliens did indeed design a hollow moon, but – hold onto your hats, folks! – their descendants are STILL THERE. Yes! They inhabit the moon’s hollow interior and are planning to plunge that satellite into the depths of the Atlantic Ocean. They will then work from their new sub-oceanic base to save the Earth.
First they will clean up the oceans (all those tonnes of plastic you’ve been reading about). Then they will free the planet from the triple curse of global warming, Islamist terrorism and Donald Trump.
Once the easy stuff is out of the way, they will reserve their most heroic efforts for the toughest job of all – finding a cure for human stupidity.
Perceptive readers will note that the practical details of such a plan contain an impossible number of insuperable obstacles. But the aliens are working on them, and, hey, they’re real smart.
Ye Olde Pedant
