Corruption versus Democracy: Dead man talking

For the neutral watchers, the question of “who is who” is long gone – it’s now a waste of time trying to figure that out. Corruption and Democracy have lost their distinguishing features during the fight and become virtually identical. That has played into Corruption’s hands, as he’s the one who keeps saying that the dark side is a lot more real than his opposite number.
Corruption: A military-installed Parliament has impeached a (former) democratically elected leader. It couldn’t be crazier than that. But when everybody who is bad wants to be seen as good, that’s what you get. Join me and end all the harmful pretensions. Join me and become something real.
Democracy: Are you saying you have been fighting a ghost?
Corruption: Ghosts are more real than you. A child’s imaginary friend is more real than you, because the kid at least “believes” in his friend. What I mean is that not even your “advocates” truly believe in you. People dream you up and they fail to follow the principles that are supposed to be your essence. Do you know why? Because the people have me in them.
Democracy: Which makes you the real one? Let me ask you something. Without dreams or ideals, what would the world be?
Corruption: An honest place. Maybe a bit brutal, but there’d be no pretence.
Democracy: So, why are you pushing for a deal? Why don’t you just try to kill me so you can live happily ever after in your brutally honest world?
Corruption: Let’s just say I’m pragmatic. A bit of a dream can motivate the world. You said so yourself. But ideals are like oxygen. You get too much, you’ll get too high. Our deal will keep everybody’s feet on the ground.
Democracy: Let’s cut to the chase. How will my pact with you help Thailand?
Corruption: When graft is generally accepted, there will be no coup, no impeachment, no street protest. Results from ballot boxes will be absolutely respected, as you always wanted.
Democracy: You forgot one thing. Corruption is not just about embezzlement, taking bribes or giving a project to your nephew. A coup is corruption, too. It’s corruption of military power. You are talking as if a coup is an effect, while it can, in fact, be a cause.
Corruption: Don’t you get it? That’s the whole damn point. Coups happen because you refuse to make a pact with me. Your stubbornness has exposed you to attacks. You see? Flawed democracy this… Weak democracy that…
But if you want to describe coups as corruption, fine. I’ll guarantee it will never happen again if you make a pact with me. That will be my part of the bargain.
Democracy: If I make a pact with you, what will make me different from other systems, like dictatorship or communism, where leaders cheat or commit fraud for fun?
Corruption: When you have “democratic” elections, the outside world will believe anything you say. Satisfied?
Democracy: What about freedom of information and freedom of expression?
Corruption: You may not believe this, but I love them. People make a lot of sense when they are free to talk.
Democracy: You love them because you love manipulating them. I love them because free speech is part of my essence.
Corruption: We both are for free speech, so, what’s the problem here? You do the right thing for the right reason while I do the right thing for the wrong reason. The end result is the right thing being done, right?
Democracy: You are very good at mixing things up and confusing people.
Corruption: That’s the idea, isn’t it? If you do it right, you can make them do anything. You can, for example, make them kill and believe they are doing something noble.
Democracy: I’m not getting into that millions-died-because-religions-want-them-to debate.
Corruption: It’s funny you just said that. I was about to say that if you’re not careful, one day you’ll end up like a religion and have millions killing each other for you.
Democracy: And it’s you who will make sure that doesn’t happen, right?
Corruption: Exactly. But that isn’t my best offer.
Democracy: Oh yeah? What’s the best you can do for me?
Corruption: I’ll bring you back to life. According to Yingluck, you are dead already.
 
And the World, Heaven and Hell continue to hold their breath.