Funny English signs worldwide
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With English now a major international language, English signboards and directions are everywhere these days. Plenty trip over the language/culture barrier and fall flat on their face. In one Acapulco hotel, for example, a sign says, "The manager has p
Written on a tap in a Finnish restroom: “To stop the drip, turn cock to right.” Well, “cock” is a slang word for a man’s genitals, so the sign makes a funny kind of sense.
At a wedding ceremony in Seoul, I heard the priest tell the bride and groom: “Men are like cocks and women are like hens.” Nobody laughed, not realising the connotation of the word “cock” But it would have been much better if he had said “rooster”.
Other hilarious examples include an advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: “Would you like to ride on your own ass?” Outside a dress shop in Paris is a sign which says, “Dresses for street walking.” One can guess the sign means “Outdoor dresses”, but it suggests something to wear in a red-light district..
Some mistakes stem from lack of awareness of correct English usage. In a Japanese hotel, there is a tempting sign men cannot possibly resist: “You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.” Grammatically, it seems all right, and yet, the expression “take advantage of” has sexual overtones here.
A laundry in Rome has a sign which reads, “Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.” A Bangkok laundry also displays a similar sign, “Drop your trousers here for best results.” A Tokyo bar has another humorous sign, “Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts,” perhaps not realising that “nuts” is slang for testicles.
Other inadvertently funny signs include the one found in the office of a Roman doctor: “Specialist in women and other diseases.” It is a wonder how the doctor has survived feminists’ criticism. A Norwegian cocktail bar displays a weird sign: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.” In the window of a Swedish furrier, there is something grotesque: “Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.”
In addition, there are also signs that use the wrong words. An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist contains an inadvertently terrifying phrase: “Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.” A Japanese guidebook about using a hotel air-conditioner has the following confusing, incorrectly-spelled instructions: “Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your woom, please control yourself.”
Needless to say, South Korea also has numerous English signs which are either awkward or plain wrong.
Bad English in signs sometimes inspires pleasant, harmless laughter, but oftentimes it can inflict serious misunderstandings. We cannot just laugh about those mistakes and forget them. The solution is to have all the English signs and directions proofread by a native speaker of English.
