The sorrows of ageing amid a generational war

Perhaps that is why older people yearn for power. And sometimes this greed for power results in self-destruction; dictators such as Saddam Hussein or Muammar Gadhafi could have lived happily for the rest of their lives if they had transferred political power before it was too late. 

You tend to lose stamina and appeal as you get older. Young men and women no longer find you charming or attractive. You feel betrayed when you notice young people no longer show interest in you.

The sad reality of ageing drives some men to futilely prove their masculinity by having an affair with a younger woman, an attempt that almost always results in disgrace and shame. Although some younger women may genuinely love their older partners, others may simply be after the man’s money and power.

Older people often feel that younger people usurp their thrones and take away their treasures. Recently on the Internet, I came across a photo of a black T-shirt with a father’s funny manifesto. The T-shirt read: “Rules for dating my daughter: 1. Get a job. 2. Understand I don’t like you. 3. I’m everywhere. 4. You hurt her. I hurt you. 5. Be home 30 minutes early. 6. Get a lawyer. 7. If you lie to me, I will find out. 8. She’s my princess, not your conquest. 9. I don’t mind going back to jail. 10. Whatever you do to her, I will do to you.” Although exaggerated, the 10 rules reflect how all fathers feel when their daughters begin to date someone. And to most fathers, the rules still hold long after their daughters are married.

A father, however, should know that once their daughter finds a boyfriend or husband, he is no longer his daughter’s primary protector. A father must watch as his role is transferred to his daughter’s partner. The process is part of the cycle of life. 

As much as older people should learn to give up power, young people should also learn to respect the elderly. In today’s Korean society, senior citizens are often pushed around and ignored, and at times treated as redundant or surplus. As someone who has lived both in Korea and the US, I would say that the elderly are treated with much more respect in the US than in Korea these days. It is a shame because Korea was once known as a model Confucian country in which seniors were traditionally respected.

Unfortunately such beautiful customs have faded, and these days older people are frequently insulted and humiliated by ill-mannered youngsters in public places such the subway. Some youth are so discourteous that they do not use honorific expressions when speaking to the elderly, which is quite offensive in Korean society. 

The same phenomenon can be found in academia as well. While I held a faculty member position at several American universities, I served as an editor for two American journals. When eminent scholars contributed an article, we did not send the articles out to reviewers to determine whether they were publishable or not. It was a common courtesy to treat distinguished senior scholars with due respect. Besides, including an article with their names gave the journals prestige. Scientific articles may require screening and peer reviews. But humanities articles were different. 

In Korea, however, such professional courtesy does not exist. Here in this land of once “courteous people”, everybody is equal and therefore, no one should be privileged. As a result, articles written by pre-eminent scholars, whether domestic or foreign, are frequently rejected by young scholars with hollow reasons such as “not fitting the format of the journal”, “lack of footnotes” or being “ideologically conservative”.

Thus the clash between the younger generation and the older generation will continue in Korea. We see a vicious cycle in which the elderly strive to accumulate and hold onto power, and young people disparage the elderly. 

 

Kim Seong-kon is a professor of English at Seoul National University and president of the Literature Translation Institute of Korea.