Adding a 'woman's touch' to the presidential debate
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It's hard, if not impossible, to watch the US presidential debate and not think of Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra. I even thought of her before the first debate last Thursday, after going through a series of Time and CNN articles which described how
So, here’s an imaginary three-sided debate involving the US presidential rivals plus her. Trying to think like Yingluck is, of course, not easy. I have no “woman’s touch” to begin with. But the differences between both countries’ “democracies” are too glaring to overlook, and who better than our “innocent” prime minister to point this out?
Jim Lehrer: Before both of you (Obama and Romney) go on explaining how you are going to find money and spend it, let’s welcome a distinguished guest from Thailand. Khun Yingluck Shinawatra, we are so pleased to have you with us today.
Yingluck: Thank you, Jim. Hello, guys. Interesting debate, indeed. I’m fascinated by how both of you can paint the other as someone who’s lost his way and yet couldn’t care less. It’s a great mix of mathematics and rhetoric.
Mitt Romney: It’s pure mathematics.
Barack Obama: It is. You can’t tell wrong figures or do wrong math on TV. You’ll be found out immediately.
Yingluck: See? That’s exactly what I meant. How can each of you speak real math and accuse the other of rhetoric? This is great stuff.
Romney: I’m telling the truth, but he’s lying.
Obama: Nope. Nope. It’s the other way round.
Yingluck: Guess it’s whose lies sound more true to the voters come election day, then. Am I right?
Obama: It’s either that truth will triumph over lies or vice versa, depending on who wins.
Romney: I agree with that.
Yingluck: Can I ask you two some personal questions? Mr Lehrer, may I?
Lehrer: Please do so.
Yingluck: Mr Obama, why do you like to jab your fingers so much? I find it a little intimidating. And Mr Romney, what’s with the perpetual warm smiles? Shouldn’t a president look a bit more stern?
Obama: Are you telling me to chill out, and him to toughen up?
Yingluck: It’s a woman’s thoughts. Yeah.
Obama: What do you do when defending your rice price-pledging
programme? You smile your sweetest smile and say you are not going to bankrupt the government, or you tell the nation in a no-nonsense manner that you are hell-bent on doing it because it will benefit the country?
Romney: That’s not fair. It’s you (Obama) who’s going to bankrupt America. You should not associate bankruptcy, which is hanging over your head, with a sweet smile, which is my character.
Yingluck: Don’t fight over this, guys. My answer to Mr Obama’s question is, you can smile and be no-nonsense at the same time.
Romney (to Obama): See?
Obama (to Yingluck): So, what happens to “the president must look a little stern”?
Yingluck: I was talking about men. Women are different. Our smiles radiate sincerity, and so do our tears.
Obama: Out of sheer curiosity, if you can use your “woman’s touch” to address the South China Sea dispute, which one would work better, smiles or tears?
Romney: Give her a break, buddy. Women act more on immediate impulse than men do. Hypothetical questions are for us men.
Yingluck: Bravo. Which brings me to my next question. Why has America never had a woman president? Is it because you guys are too obsessed with hypothetical questions?
Lehrer: Who want to answer that?
Obama: How about you, Mr Warm Smile? But before we get to that, let me tell you what I think about men and hypothetical questions. I believe both sexes are equally guilty of being too analytical, especially in relating to one another.
Romney: We are here to talk about politics, aren’t we? Now, to answer the question of why America has never had a female president, I think if a female candidate comes along in the future and is popular enough, she will have no problem winning. The world never thought Mr Obama would ever get elected here, either.
Obama: Yep, great answer, pal. Women will find their way.
Yingluck: Okay, my last question. I’m naive; some people even say not too smart. But here I am, representing my country as its first female prime minister. My question is, with America surely more democratic than Thailand, do you think I can be your country’s president?
Lehrer: Who wants to answer that?
Romney (shuddering): I took the previous tough one. How about giving this mother of all hypothetical questions to Mr Stern Finger-jabber?
Obama (after searching desperately for Michelle in the crowd): Damn you, Mitt.
