It's times like this you |don't mind being conned
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"Uncle John", the pony-tailed American "professor" who can swear in Thai like your favourite auntie, was in town last week for the National Book Fair.
You probably remember seeing the video on YouTube of this guy explaining how he learned to cuss from an angry Bangkokian.
But here’s the thing: The man is indeed an American, but his name is Nelson Howe, not John, he’d never even been to Thailand before, and he’s not a professor but rather a professional dancer and dance instructor – and an actor, obviously.
That his entire spiel in the viral video “BKK 1st time” (3.1 million views and counting) was scripted didn’t bother people at the book fair who queued for his autograph.
Thanachart “Benz” Siripatrachai had written a book called “New York 1st Time” and made the video to promote it. He knew Howe because he’d taken photos for his dance studio, and recruited him to act in the video, penning the lines that Nelson “performed” in utterly convincing fashion.
Viewers automatically accepted that “Uncle John” had lived in Bangkok long enough to understand that the Thai version of the F-word is just as flexible as its English cousin. “You can f**k anything, including a duck, a monitor lizard, an alligator and even a mortar!” he explained in flawless Thai (the final reference being to the pestle’s companion, not the weapon).
Benz and Nelson’s video boosted sales of the book sufficiently enough that the publisher, Salmon Books, invited Howe to Thailand last month and then asked him to stay on for the book fair, where Benz was also unveiling his latest release, “The Real Alaska”.
“I’m preparing to arrive in Bangkok at the end of September to have a week of vacation,” Nelson announced on Facebook, “and even stay longer if I want, and visit my Thai friends. I look forward to a fun trip.”
Salmon’s idea turned out to be genius, because Nelson drew a huge crowd at the book fair a week ago Saturday. Fans started lining up at 9am and latecomers hoping for his autograph left disappointed because Howe – who’s 79, after all – “signed off” for the day after writing his name 250 times.
It was a two-hour effort in hot, confined surroundings, chatting with the fans while he scribbled. Nevertheless he agreed to return on Thursday and go through it all over again. It wasn’t exactly the “vacation” he had in mind, but he insisted that the overwhelming reception made the effort worthwhile.
Benz was more than happy to carry on autographing copies of his books after “Uncle Nelson” bid his adieus.
Howe’s first time in Thailand must have been an eye-opener for him. Not only did no one curse him, as he might have expected from Benz’s script, but the fans at the book fair routinely greeted him in English with, “Nice to meet you!”
So, now that we know the real “Uncle John”, we’re only left wondering how this funny, gentle American who’d never been to Thailand before came to speak Thai in all its coarse glory so seamlessly. He must have had an excellent teacher, Ajarn Benz!
