Fatherly hormones versus ministerial hormones: the reality show

Act 1, Scene 1.

The corner of a production house. Father of 16-year-old actress is surrounded by cameramen and reporters as he voluntarily calls a press conference after a photo is leaked on the Internet of his daughter, in which she is seen with equipment to take illicit drugs.   

Father (to the press): We are worried sick. We confronted her and she confessed that she tried it once. She is young and inexperienced. She regrets it.

Reporter 1: Is she here?

Father: No

Reporter 2: How’s your family coping with this?

Father (shaky voice): Wrecked emotionally, but we are trying. My family and daughter are very sorry. We’d like to apologise to everyone. (He wais the press.)

 

Act 1, Scene 2.

The same production house, the evening of the same day; an executive and series director sit before the media. 

Executive: We are shocked. Her father wants her to take a break from entertainment. This is bad, but she’s surely learned a very important lesson. We feel for her and family. We’ll continue to give her support.

Reporter: Have you guys talked to her? 

Director: (Nodding.) Yes. She is crying. We’re relieved that her dad decided to tell the truth. 

Executive: Her dad is a gentleman. He takes full responsibility. He wants his daughter to think it over and mend her heart and soul. I feel for the family.

 

Act 2, Scene 1.

The office of Minister Donald Duck, in charge of drug problems. He sits at a round table. Father and teen actress enter the room crowded with reporters. Cameras and flashlights follow her until she is seated.

Minister: Come here, come sit with uncle. Stop! (Raises his voice to silence the press). I’ve heard the story but I know this kid. I won’t tell you how I know her. I called them here because I’m in charge of drug problems. I am police, a law enforcer. I’ll get the truth. She’s not guilty. (Father sits still without any facial expression, while the girl sobs.)

She is a star; everyone wants to have a say in this. If she is guilty, she is subjected to criticism. But if she is clean, you can’t blame her. (Sweeps his eyes around the room) Now, Judie … show them the result.

Judie: (Shows a urine test result to the press.) The result is negative.

Minister (to Judie): Hand out the documents.

Minister (to press). I am fed up with Thai society. It’s too dramatic at times. Lucky you have me. (Turns to the weeping girl). See? She is clean. Case closed.

Reporter 1:  But her dad earlier said otherwise? 

Minister: Any dad would be unable to eat or sleep if this happened to his daughter. If I were in his place, I’d put a gun to my head. Who would not love his kids? I do. If my son was in jail for a year, I’d visit him every day. 

Reporter 2: How about the leaked photo?

Minister: It’s doctored. 

Reporter 2: Not real? 

Minister: No, it’s Photoshopped. What do you guys want? I show you the scientific result and that should be more than enough.

Reporter 3: So, can we ask her dad questions?

Minister: No, not here. If he wants to, he can answer outside this room. I’m the boss here and I want to keep this room sacred for this talk. Okay, I have nothing else to say. She is not wrong and you must all support her. Now everyone can leave. 

 

Act 3, Scene 1.

Reporters jostle outside the minister’s office trying to interview the father.

Reporter: So, she didn’t take drugs? Is the photo is doctored?

Father: I stand by what I said (yesterday). I taught my kids from a young age: you can lie to anyone but yourself! (He excuses himself and leaves the ministry.)

The End.

Memorable quotes:

 “If I don’t love my kids, who the heck should I love?” Minister DD.

“You can lie to anyone but yourself.” The Father.