Wan-Wan, Mee and a shredded carpet makes three

WHEN MY poodle pup Wan-Wan pees and poos, there’s so little that I can clean it up within seconds.

My next-door neighbour’s dog, Mee the part-chow, is another matter entirely. Her peeing and pooing has become a problem for Khun J, her owner. Whenever the dog goes out on walks, J runs after her with a dust pan, but I suspect there are times that J simply doesn’t have the energy to clean up after her dog, especially since Mee, like my Wan, pees at lots of places.

Some dogs, whether big or tiny, male or female, leave their pee to tell other dogs that they now own the site.

I’ve never been on a walk with Mee, but if she’s anything like Wan, she leaves her mark on practically every tyre, gate, tree and telephone pole around.

Now, the neighbours have started complaining. Mee, after all, is a big girl, and her eliminations are massive. No single bottle of water can wash away what she leaves behind.

The neighbours have asked her to solve the problem of Mee messing their gates and bushes. One night, I hear J yelling at her sister, who lives in the house opposite. “I can’t send Mee away,” she screams. “I live alone. I need protection.”

I’ll bet love and affection are also involved, but J knows that these aren’t enough for keeping a dog, but protection is.

“Why don’t you have her eliminate inside your house?” I ask.

“She won’t do anything inside,” J says.

I believe her. I’ve heard her yelling at Mee when she’s eliminated in the patio.

Mee, being so intelligent, has learned how upset J gets with the messes. Besides, she may not like eliminating on tiled floors.

“Why not put some old carpet down for her to use?” I ask.

J shakes her head. “Mee won’t do it,” she says. “She doesn’t like carpeting.” I don’t even try to suggest buying some squares of grass from a garden shop. For J, you don’t spend so much money on a dog.

She does have some carpeting, and I tell her to give it to me. I’ll have Wan urinate on it first, and then Mee’s competitiveness will encourage her to urinate on it.

J laughs and brings me the carpet. It’s around 23 cms by 15 cms, a postage stamp. Not even Wan would feel comfortable using something so small.

I have some cheap carpeting that’s much, much larger. I put it down on the floor and call Wan over.

“Ok, doggie,” I tell her. “Pee away.”

Wouldn’t you know. Wan loves peeing on carpeting, but for some reason, she decides chewing on this one is much more fun.

Standing in the middle of pieces of carpet, I phone my vet for help. She happens to have three Pomeranian boys boarding with her. They’re completely healthy, and because they’re unneutered, they pee on everything. Within minutes, all three have “blessed” the carpet.

When I give the carpet to J minutes later, she takes it, but doubtfully. “Mee doesn’t like carpets,” she says.

“Just try,” I say. “Give her a couple of days and she’ll use it.”

Within two hours, J phones me in tears. “Mee won’t use the carpet,” she weeps. She doesn’t seem to hear me when I tell her to be patient and leave the carpet down for at least a day.

The next morning, she returns the carpet to me.

Early in the mornings and late in the evenings, I see her taking Mee out for a walk, but deep down nearby sois.

I guess she thinks that it doesn’t matter where Mee pees as long as it’s in front of a stranger’s house.