Goodbye and thanks for the memories

I’d written how the 2010 floods diluted all the political “colours”, albeit temporarily, but you gave us the real deal, which proved how utterly naive I was. Your floods, bigger and more devastating than those unleashed by your predecessor, amplified rather than cured the political divide. I’ve learned an unforgettable lesson: Most humans think it’s better to drown than change their political beliefs.

You gave us Yingluck Shinawatra. That was some trick. You showed that, in Thailand, beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. Here, beauty is determined by which side of the political polarity you are on. Either Yingluck was graceful on the international stages or she was an embarrassment. Either she is innocent or she takes the whole nation for a ride by pretending to be perpetually clueless.

In many ways, you took us back to the beginning of 2008. Only this time it was a charming, youthful sister of Thaksin Shinawatra instead of an aggressive, stop-me-if-you-dare Samak Sundaravej. In circumstances when the late Samak would have yelled to an inquirer, “You failed to get laid last night or what?” we got Yingluck’s sweet smile followed by, “Oh, really? I didn’t know that until now.”   

But you were a far cry from being a sugar-coated 2008. All the necessary, unmistakable signs have been given on what sort of trouble your successor will bring. Some people are even talking about slicing up the country like a cake. Three years ago, I would have laughed at that. Today, I greet that kind of prediction with a silent prayer.

You have had fun elsewhere as well, haven’t you? I just wish your predecessors had empowered the opposition in Burma like you did for “the Protester” in other places. But at least it’s all coming together for Burma, or so it seems. Thank you for that, and here’s hoping that 2012 won’t take your great work for the Burmese and flush it down the drain.

You put away Osama bin Laden and ended the secretive life of Kim Jong-il. In the case of the former, I don’t expect the striptease shame at all key international airports will come to an end when 2012 takes over. I’m not a North Korea expert, but that country’s status quo seems to have solid back-up and 2012 should comfortably bring down the fog of mystery on the regime again.

Hope your successor makes Thailand and Cambodia grow up as a couple. They have ridiculed themselves with their kiss-kiss-bang-bang relationship, and that should stop. With the Preah Vihear conflict entering a new chapter and Thaksin Shinawatra hovering ever closer, I fear the worst, though.

You laid Steve Jobs to rest, in the process reminding me to express my debts of gratitude to the likes of Christopher Columbus, Thomas Alva Edison, the Wright Brothers, brave Thai ancestors and so on. I mean, if we keep “connecting the dots”, we owe our existence to everything.

Hopefully, your successor will accelerate the production lines of smart phones and tablets and end the bragging period of the owners of iPhone4S and iPad2; 2012 must do to tablets and smart phones what you did to hi-definition TVs. Don’t get me wrong. Jobs was a great man, but the “price” issue spoiled it for me. Credit to you for giving androids greater opportunities.

Japan should bounce back, because despite the tsunami, the economic tone you set for Asia as a whole is not too bad. We shall see what 2012 will do to the West, which seemed relatively immune to natural and political catastrophes but was made to look fragile by you where money in the bank is concerned.

I hate to say this, but you made me dread Facebook. Before you start lecturing me on freedom of expression, let me tell you that I’m absolutely fine with online extremism, fanaticism and even obscenity. It’s seeing good, apparently solid relationships disintegrating before my eyes that got me. How can people who know each other well break up over things that they don’t really know about?

Thanks for giving us ambassadors who tweet, and for the Wikileaks suspense. Reading about Julian Assange is like watching “Fringe”: you can’t tell who is playing for the wrong team or which is the wrong team to begin with. Will 2012 clear the air on the guy? I doubt it.  

Tell your successor to give me some good movies for the grown-ups. I understand the need to cater to the new generation, but girls torn between handsome creatures of the night are becoming a boring theme. On the domestic front, you showed us Thai teens can dirty-dance with the best of them. Again, thank you for that. (I’m not being sarcastic, if that’s what you’re thinking.)

You made me go to the cinema less and less. I’m certain it’s not just me. I can’t see how 2012 can change that, although movie theatres are still far from seeing their last sunset.  

Well, the farewell is getting too long here, so my final gratitude is for the fact that after your predecessors kept teasing us about e-book (self-publishing in other words) opportunities, you have made the “dream” seem more real than ever before. I’m sure 2012 will see to it that my goodbye note to him 12 months from now will be read more in digital format than in print.

Thanks for all the memories, and good luck.