Prayut, Thaksin and the UN (which is nobody's daddy)
It's debatable as to which of the two has more respect for the United Nations. The following dialogue between Prayut Chan-o-cha and Thaksin Shinawatra, which I obviously thought up, is not intended to shed light on that. The United Nations, however, has
Prayut: Not what I feared, but nothing to boast about on Facebook either. It all comes with the territory.
Thaksin: For once, I’m glad it wasn’t me. The thing about the UN is that they put all Third World leaders under a microscope and write off all the nasty things that the superpowers do as a “necessity”. That’s why I said that the UN is not my father.
Prayut: Imagine I said that. The remark would be put on a banner, attached to a hired plane and flown over UN headquarters.
Thaksin: Only a democratically elected leader can say something like that. Live with it.
Prayut: You mean only democratically elected leaders can subject drug suspects to extra-judicial killings and alleged Islamic militants to fatal crackdowns and still tell the United Nations to get lost?
Thaksin: You sound bitter. But, as you said yourself, it comes with the territory. You staged a coup and you must have known what was coming. Dictators are dictators, no matter how they dress themselves up. And the UN is very good at undressing people like you.
Prayut: Are you an advocate for the UN now? Thais never beg them for food. You said so yourself.
Thaksin: Repeat after me: “Only democratically elected leaders can say their countries never beg the UN for food.”
Prayut: I guess begging for food is the least of the problems. The whole point is that only democratically elected leaders can cheat and be confident that all they’ll get in return is a slap on the wrist.
Thaksin: If you want nothing more than a wrist slap, run in an election – don’t force a government out at gunpoint.
Prayut: I don’t want to be a teacher’s pet.
Thaksin: You don’t get it. A teacher’s pet doesn’t scold the teacher. I scolded the teacher. Being a democratically elected leader gives you that.
Prayut: You mean a licence to steal and kill?
Thaksin: That’s an insult to my voters.
Prayut: You don’t get it. I’m insulting you and only you. You’d better stop hiding behind your voters. When they arrested, say, Estrada and Arroyo, nobody said anything about the people who elected them.
Thaksin: They were sent to court under a democratic system. That’s why their voters were okay about it.
Prayut: Do you seriously think corrupt prime ministers can be criminalised under a democratic system in Thailand?
Thaksin: How can I answer that? You guys always beat everyone to it.
Prayut: Well, if you have a problem with that, go tell the UN. Oh, I forgot, you’ve already done that. How did the “Not my father” react?
Thaksin: Stop poking fun at ancient history.
Prayut: How about telling your supporters to “play dead”? Is that current enough?
Thaksin: What’s wrong with that? Anyone who refuses to play dead has been put through your attitude adjustment programme. I guess playing dead is the most sensible behaviour in the current circumstances.
Prayut: It shows you want to strike back. Your advice demonstrates a revenge motive. Thailand will never have real peace as long as you have that attitude.
Thaksin: Please cut your nonsense about peace and reform. We both know this is just a power game. Right now you have the upper hand, so I’m playing dead. That sums it up.
Prayut: You are dragging democracy through the mud. The longer you do that, the harder it will be for Thais to achieve real democracy.
Thaksin: Are you blaming me for the absence of democracy in Thailand? I’m not the one who cancelled a constitution and keeps delaying a general election.
Prayut: All I’m saying is that you are a bad presenter of democracy. For the system to stand any chance, you must stop making it stink.
Thaksin: America and Britain, to name just two, don’t seem to think so. It’s you who stink.
Prayut: At least I was brave enough to show up at the UN. How about you coming to Thailand, where you are so “popular”?
Thaksin: I was days away from returning, but a group ganged up against my sister’s amnesty bill. You should remember that, because you have them to thank for your coup. Plus, I can’t move around as easily as before – some idiot just revoked my passport.
Prayut: Oh, is that so? The passport issue popped up at the UN, by the way. A protester wanted your travel rights restored. He unwittingly helped me, though. The passport fuss distracted everyone from bigger issues. What a fool. Didn’t you tell him to play dead? If he disobeyed, you should have that loose cannon killed.
