Living dolls, another Thep |and a Nose out of joint

Once the word got out that we were booking airline seats for our dolls and ordering separate meals for them in restaurants, those foreigners were bound to take a dim view of matters.

Thailand’s reaction, as usual, was over-reaction. The cops, having already busted a drug dealer who’d stuffed 200 amphetamine tablets inside a doll for an overseas flight – started hitting stores selling look thep. More than 100 of the poor little things were hauled off to jail because the merchants couldn’t produce any import documents. (The dolls don’t just magically appear – they come from China.)

But you can’t blame the police for being in a bad mood. The foreign press have been calling our ersatz offspring “spirit dolls” and “haunted dolls”, claiming the owners believe they have the soul of a genuine child within and thus have to be pampered just like real kids. Admittedly, some owners actually do believe that, and even more think the dolls bring them good luck.

And there’s no getting around the fact that cabin crews on the Thai Smile airline are under orders to treat the dolls like actual children. Plus, some Bangkok restaurants serve them meals priced according to height, same as living kids.

For wise guidance at times like this, we turn to the Facebook page of Udom “Nose” Taepanit’s, the Kingdom’s favourite comedian. What we found instead was Nose giving Pa Thep a look thep that looks just like him – like Thep Pho-Ngam, that is. Pa Thep used to be a comedian and now he’s finally finding success in retail (after a string of bad moves) selling khanom pia Chinese sweets. 

Note added a poem: 

 

Want to worship something, then go to Father, 

For this Thep, you don’t have to ask – he simply gives

Laughter and khanom pia as you wish,

He gives it to me, while saying from the heart, “I give you for free”,

Big pia with loads of filling and a huge red yolk.

If you want to order, just dial this number:

Zero nine five seven eight nine four six five five.

I guarantee the stuff is good, so you might have to wait a bit longer.

 

It goes on like that for another stanza, basically praising Pa Thep as a role model for people facing difficulties. Nose calls him “an angel next door in human form” – and for that earned more than 100,000 “likes” and 10,000 shares within 24 hours.

“Yes, he is the real thep,” one of his fans agreed. “Really appreciate his fighting spirit. Asking for help from God cannot be better than just making the effort yourself.” 

Others pointed out, less appreciatively, that Nose is a follower of the Dhammakaya Buddhist sect and wondered if his admiration for self-made Pa Thep gibes with his faith. The sect is controversial for taking the unholy marriage of spirituality and materialism to a whole new level. In its view of Heaven, you get to live on a higher floor of the “condominium” if you give the sect more cash. 

If Nose has his eye on the penthouse in the afterlife, he’ll probably need a bunch of angel dolls to fly him there.