Why Donald Trump is not the anti-Christ

Fear not, little flock: Donald Trump may be a loudmouth, a braggart, and a bully, but he’s not the anti-Christ.
The various traditions are sometimes confusing, but this much seems clear:
1.  There is not just one anti-Christ (false Messiah), but many. See I John 2:18.
2. The anti-Christ is described as a liar (I John 2:22), a deceiver (II John 1:7), and a lawless one (II Thessalonians 2:3).  
But a proper and complete description, if applied to Mr Trump, would certainly mention his loud mouth, his constantly gesticulating hands, and his magnificent golden mane.
3. Hippolytus of Rome (circa 170-236 CE) believed that the anti-Christ would “come from the tribe of Dan and would rebuild the Jewish temple on the Temple Mount”.  Well, the “tribe of Don” (Mr Trump’s family) might easily be mistaken for the Israelite tribe of Dan, but the only thing Mr Trump might want to build on the Temple Mount would be a hotel, or possibly a casino.  Either would be blasphemous, offensive, and unacceptable to all three Abrahamic faiths, and would be unalterably opposed by Mr Trump's daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner, who are both Jewish.
4. The anti-Christ is supposed to have two horns, a possible misinterpretation of Mr Trump’s two hands, which he uses to make his gesticulations. He is supposed to speak “like a dragon”, which Mr Trump certainly does. But there is no mention of his characteristic tweeting.
5. Cyril of Jerusalem (fourth century CE) says that the anti-Christ will rule for three and a half years, after which Jesus will descend to earth and kill him. This is obviously a false prophecy, especially if applied to Mr Trump. The Secret Service would certainly prevent such a dastardly act. The prophecy also maligns Jesus, a gentle soul who would never harm a fly, much less a devout Presbyterian like Mr Trump.
The only prophecies that could possibly refer to Donald Trump are the fictional and utterly spurious Oracles of Nasty Demon. I know they are fake because I made them up myself. With apologies to Nostradamus, they read. “He Tweets, he Twitters, he has yellow hair. He dwelt among queens, but is no longer there.”  This is an obvious reference to Queens, New York, where Mr Trump grew up.
Further: “He rules in the north. He rules in the south. He rules with the help of his great big fat mouth.”
I hope that the foregoing will suffice to convince readers that Donald Trump is not the anti-Christ, and that we may lay this base canard to rest. 
Of course, I could be wrong.
Ye Olde Theologian