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SUNDAY, December 10, 2023

Deflated by such rigid rules for sperm donors

Deflated by such rigid rules for sperm donors
THURSDAY, April 27, 2017

Re:  “Seminal advice to all would-be sperm donors”, Have Your Say, April 27.

I thank Mr Somsak Pola for dispelling my apparent delusion about becoming a semen tycoon. Disillusionment can be a terrible thing, but I wonder if there may not be some wiggle room here.
Mr Pola has listed, in devastating detail (can we call him Dreambuster?), the criteria that cruelly exclude me from official, government-approved sperm donorship. But are there any alternative channels that have less stringent requirements? I don’t require tons of money for the precious product of my loins – only a fraction of a ton. I may not be a Ferrari, but I’m not a rusty clunker, either. More like an old but still serviceable Volkswagen that has been through a few accidents. I would be willing to grant a discount to any potential buyer who is willing to grant me a handicap.
Of course, if utilising alternative channels is illegal in Thailand, I forswear them absolutely. In that case, I may pursue other, legal options, possibly offshore. That cargo container I just purchased for the transportation of my sperm cost a lot of money, and is not to be lightly tossed away. In any case, I thank Mr Pola for his helpful and illuminating contribution to this seminal discourse.
Horace Beasley
Crushed but not squashed